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Craig Vuvuzuela ‘very sorry’ over musical legacy

The man who invented the plastic trumpet that is taking the World Cup by storm has issued a formal apology.

A worried-looking Mr. Vuvuzela took to the stage at the U.N. in New York yesterday to explain just how sorry he was for inventing the instrument that was named after him. “My initial idea was to make a fun, affordable trumpet that football fans could use to cheer on their favourite teams” said Vuvuzela, who appeared nervous and sweaty in front of the gathered nations.

“I had no idea that when South Africa would host the World Cup everyone around the world would have to listen to the incessant honking and buzzing noise, essentially ruining the game for everyone.” United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon then appeared on stage to formally kick Mr. Vuvuzela in the plums really fucking hard.