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‘One is middle class’ insists Queen

A shrill new voice entered the debate about class definitions today with Her Majesty the Queen insisting that she is middle class, ‘just like my subjects.’

Following on from PM David Cameras-on’s revelations, the Queen released a statement today insisting that even though ‘the Tudors and the Stuarts were upper class, the Windsors have always been middle class.’

‘One is a passionate observer of tea-time. One is religiously polite and avoids blue language. One enjoys ‘Antiques Roadshow’. One worries desperately that one’s sons and grandsons might not enjoy the same standard of living as one has enjoyed. One loathes snooty toffs like Brian Sewell and one hates chavs. Like Victoria Beckham. And that Tommy Cooper.’

Describing Windsor Castle as ‘semi-detached’, the Queen also admits to having a few ‘classical music CDs in the car’ which she doesn’t really like, but on a long drive can ‘make one feel as if one really lives in Italy and has lots of sex’.