Adele wins Nobel Prize for breakup songs

Music News: The singer/songwriter Adele won the Nobel Prize for breakup songs last night, with committee members praising her for ‘soundtracking a grey Autumn morning waking up alone’.

The singer was given her prize at a prestigious ceremony in Stockholm, Sweden. “Breakup songs played a major part of Alfred Nobel’s life,” said spokesman Törs Sorgligt-kille.

“Whether sitting alone watching rain drops on a window, consumed by painful nostalgia about lost love – or quite literally rolling in the deep – we are confident Alfred would have tearfully approved of Adele’s songs.”

“As the man who invented dynamite, made his fortune through armaments manufacture and was known as ‘the merchant of death’, Alfred Nobel knew a lot about regret. Regret and blowing stuff up.”

The Nobel prize for breakup songs has a controversial history – in 1990, Sinéad O’Connor received the award for ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’.

She had to be escorted from the stage after throwing canapés at the audience and kicking a priest up the harris.

Story+Image: Simon Swatman