Pope Outlines Plans For Office Leaving Party

Papal News: The Pope has outlined plans for his Vatican leaving party, saying it will include prayer, speeches and a ‘baptismal font full of Jägermeister’.

“I imagine things will start off with a very formal tone,” said a spokesman for the Vatican. “But this is the first papal resignation in 600 years, so things are gonna get pretty crazy after a few bottles of communion wine.”

It’s also thought that the Vatican’s media office has put together a five minute ‘blooper reel’ of Pope Benedict XVI struggling with his robes in high wind, that will be played at the party.

The email invitation to the party from the pontiff’s office describe it as a ‘small, low key affair’ with the only rule being ‘no talking shop’. Despite this, many at the Vatican think the leaving party will be one to remember.

Said one Vatican insider, “Once the canapés are finished and the robes get loosened, all the unresolved sexual tension in the workplace will probably start to take over – I imagine there’ll be some serious vow breaking going on in the photocopier room.”