Andy Coulson To Demand Retrial By Combat

Media News: Disgraced former News of the World editor Andy Coulson is to demand a retrial by physical combat, after being inspired by the latest series of Game of Thrones.


“I’ve had a lot of free time during the last two years, so I’ve finally been able to catch up on all the latest episodes of Game of Thrones,” said Coulson in a statement read out by his legal team.

“And it seems to me the only logical step forward is to demand a retrial by combat, in which I will be championed by an eight foot tall man with a tendency toward extreme violence. If it’s good enough for Westeros I don’t see why it isn’t good enough for Westminster.”

“Mounting a legal defence based on something you’ve seen in a fantasy TV show is rare but not unheard of,” said one legal expert.

“After all, Nigella Lawson’s assistants were acquitted after dressing up as Gabrielle and the title character from Xena: Warrior Princess, then making out in front of the jury.”