Man hoping small piece of tinsel on monitor will appease office Christmas Gods

An office worker is hoping that a tiny offering of tinsel on his computer monitor will appease the office Christmas Gods and their acolytes, allowing him to work in peace.


“I know from bitter experience that the office Christmas Gods must be appeased,” said the man, a 32-year-old IT consultant from Derby.

“For those who dare to shun the Christmas Gods at this time of year will be cursed to near-constant beration from their devout followers – their heathen ears will ring with the sounds of ‘don’t you like Christmas?’ and ‘where’s your festive spirit?’ and lo, the office will be even more unbearable than it is already.”

The man not only hopes that the offering of tinsel will placate the office Christmas Gods, but will also excuse him from taking part in other seasonal ceremonies.

“If this small offering is accepted, I pray that I will not be forced to wear the dreaded hat of Santa at the office party, or forced to compliment my colleagues on their home-made mince pies.”