53 seconds of GB News’ Martin Daubney getting everything wrong might be the funniest clip you see today
The launch of GB News was – at least for several weeks – a comedy of errors.
While the gaffes, undetected pranks and equipment fails have slowed down, this Martin Daubney segment on the capture of escaped remand prisoner Daniel Khalife shows that professionalism remains an aspiration rather than an attribute.
Daniel Khalife had been found in Chiswick and apprehended by police. Martin Daubney here on GB News #GBNews making an absolute horlicks of this important breaking news. It's like a parody of amateur it's that bad! pic.twitter.com/5AgCIKfmXV
— Phil Jones "Unofficial" (@PhilJonesy3) September 9, 2023
It’s important to appreciate just how badly that went wrong – so here’s a transcript.
“First, it’s the news headlines.
No, it’s not. We’re going straight to mis …breaking news, it’s fast happening, because as we just said – erm, we, we, the appr …the terror man …(laughs) fuck. It’s all gone wrong.
It’s here. Chip Chapman – er, we have him coming up soon on the arrest of the terror suspect – he, he escaped from Wandsworth Prison and he’s been apprehended and it’s all coming up in GB News.
We’ve got our first guest. Here is …police have escaped, have arrested p-prisoner Daniel Khalife.
Beg your pardon, we’re getting the autocue in the right place, this story’s just happening. Joining me now for the latest is Home Security Editor Mark Wyatt. Are you there, Mark?
It’s Chip Chapman, we have Chip Chapman. Army …erm, for the Army and the former head of Counter Terrorism, Major General Chip Chapman. Chip, dramatic …”
We apologise to those of you who have either cringed yourselves inside out or spat drinks all over your screens. By way of compensation, here are some favourite reactions.
This is just so fucking glorious. Every second brings me unbridled joy.
This channel has been on air for over 2 years. There is no excuse for being this abysmal anymore, not one.
— Jamie East (@jamieeast) September 9, 2023
No time for me to do a video this weekend so it’s nice that Martin Daubney stepped into the breach… https://t.co/ft7BfISR76
— Matt Green (@mattgreencomedy) September 9, 2023
What so funny about this is that it’s the ersatz news-anchor bombast that gets him into such bad trouble. And he won’t give up. It’s like a cow trying to climb into a hammock. https://t.co/HGb5dEzHhi
— Tom Sutcliffe (@tds153) September 10, 2023
The thing is, if you’re a good presenter, with a normal level of versatility, you can ride out a broken autocue with a bit of humility and humour but Daubney doing his impression of “fierce no-nonsense anchorman” has nowhere to go when shit hits fan. He’s stuck in his persona.
— Rachel Parris (@rachelparris) September 9, 2023
MARTIN, YOU’RE LYING IN A NEWS GRAVE. https://t.co/S0043STTWe
— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) September 9, 2023
It's so funny because it tries to be so serious. It's every comedy character ever. #theterrorman
— Danny Wallace (@dannywallace) September 9, 2023
Complete horseshit of a duck’s arse https://t.co/R7GFb9pj1H
— Dom Joly (@domjoly) September 9, 2023
can’t stop watching this. i have a new favourite part every time. https://t.co/V2FDfaw0Ao
— Chimene Suleyman (@chimenesuleyman) September 10, 2023
Hey look! At the back on the right! It’s the Terror Man! pic.twitter.com/y2nsJUQzFA
— Sooz Kempner, so-called "comedian" (@SoozUK) September 11, 2023
I was better on Channel 1 in 1993 in high school. https://t.co/eLFZvT7OHY
— Jamie Klingler (@jamieklingler) September 10, 2023