Tory mayoral hopeful Susan Hall thinks she was ‘pickpocketed’ and it’s the most hatstand tale you’ll hear this year

Try to avoid anything to do with Tory London mayoral hopeful Susan Hall but in this case she made the case for inclusion simply irresistible.

It’s her tale of being ‘pickpocketed’ on the Tube in a discussion about crime on LBC and, well, to say more would spoil it. Stick with it because it’s absolutely, 100% worth it.

'I had no idea where it could have gone.'
'I had no idea what happened.'
'I'm the luckiest woman in the world – I actually got it back.'

Can you help @NickFerrariLBC solve the mystery of Tory mayoral hopeful Susan Hall's 'pickpocketing ordeal'? pic.twitter.com/MtjDGBlyz8

— LBC (@LBC) November 28, 2023

Now of course we can’t rule out 100% she wasn’t pickpocketed but … seriously. Just, please, someone, anyone – have a word will you?

And it wasn’t only us that found ourselves furiously facepalming into next week.

Here are just a few of the things people were saying about the story today.

1.

You don't have to be Colombo to figure this one out…

— PaulB (@PaulBlack2022) November 28, 2023

2.

This is genuinely the most preposterous story I've ever heard. Susan Hall has zero evidence to support her theory that she was pickpocket. In all likelihood she's dropped her oyster wallet on a seat…. and then a very kind person has gone out of their way to reunite her with it https://t.co/DGvkAQOrRn

— Otto English (@Otto_English) November 28, 2023

3.

The only mystery is why Nick Ferrari, who calls himself journalist, didn't point out that she had just dropped it.

— PaulB (@PaulBlack2022) November 28, 2023

4.

Here it is…this story is WILD. She claims she was pickpocketed when clearly she just dropped her oyster card. It was later returned to her.

AS @balconyshirts shirts said, this story is actually an advert for @SadiqKhan 's London and how helpful people can be. https://t.co/b3T054z8DG

— Iain Lee (@iainlee) November 28, 2023

5.

Someone stole my car last week and then returned it. I was pretty sure I'd left it on Level 3 of the multi storey. Realised it had been stolen. Looked on Level 4 in the same parking space, there it was. The thief had only gone and moved it up one level!

— Col (@Clintus_erectus) November 28, 2023

6.

This is comedy magic.

Susan Hall explaining that she actually ….

DROPPED HER OYSTER CARD AND MONEY

and ….

IT WAS RETURNED.

There was no thief.#susanhall https://t.co/ah8WRlvojr

— Brexit Fails (@BrexitFails) November 28, 2023

7.

Dear Susan Hall . Thieves do not return things. You dropped it.

— Kate Anderson (@KateAndersonLTD) November 28, 2023

8.

Tory mayoral candidate Susan Hall basically dropped her Oyster card on the tube and a kind person who found it returned it to her and she claims she was robbed!!

Also who still uses an Oyster card 10 years after they made it possible to use any contactless debit card??? https://t.co/yRHrKYh74e

— John Spiers (@squeezyjohn) November 28, 2023

9.

Call it a lucky guess but it fell out of her pocket, she got off the tube and someone immediately sat in the vacant seat. Her wallet was found by a passenger later on and returned to her.

And she thinks Londoners would vote for someone like this

— Paddy O'Furniture (@Pady_oFurniture) November 28, 2023

10.

See can't even look after her Oyster card- she's got no chance of looking after London!

— Richard (@jollywheeler) November 28, 2023

11.

Susan Hall gives detailed account of how she thought she'd lost her brain only to find out that it wasn't in her handbag.#SaferWithSyphilis https://t.co/x974JHP3Jo

— Stormzy (@Nurseborisbash) November 28, 2023

12.

This reminds me of the time when my car was stolen from a supermarket car park. Fortunately after walking around the car park for 10 minutes I found the parking space that the thief had returned the car to. https://t.co/kwZqxHytGL

— Withnail Jones (@withnailjones) November 28, 2023

13.

Pickpockets famously return the cash to their victims.

— Mike Holden (@MikeHolden42) November 28, 2023

Source @LBC