Life relationships

This woman shared her husband’s jaw-dropping financial arrangements and this most British of replies is the only one you need

John Plunkett. Updated February 15th, 2024

Latest in a (very) occasional series, relationship dilemma of the week isn’t really a dilemma at all.

But it is a particularly jaw-dropping one, a woman who took to Reddit to ask people if the financial arrangements insisted upon by her husband were tantamount to financial abuse.

And hard to believe we know, but each new paragraph is more jaw-dropping than the last.

It was shared on Twitter by @nickw84 who had this to say.

And here it is in full.

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It prompted no end of totally on-point responses.

‘I can’t speak to the financial abuse part, but in terms of being a partner and parent, this guy sounds like an absolute piece of work.

‘I can’t imagine my partner and kids going on holiday without me, or me earning 200k and my partner being in credit card debt. If this was r/relationshipadvice I’d tell you to leave him asap and find a partner who values you and wants to be part of your family.’
guitarromantic

‘I would say yes, it does sound it to me.

‘This is a statement taken from the Very Well Mind website:

“Hiding or taking funds and putting them in a private account, insisting you share your income but refusing to share theirs, or refusing to work or contribute to the family income”.

‘I would say that by stashing his money away and not contributing the household constitutes abuse, by being extremely stingey and not paying half of the domestic supplies etc.

‘He sounds like a miserable arse, do you need to be with him financially if you’re already supporting yourself anyway? Is it worth secretly speaking to a solicitor? You would be entitited to half of his savings / pension etc anyway if you split up. Do not give him any indication that you are seeking legal advice as this will give him time to hide his money.’
evavu84

‘This is one of those weird situations where I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a big secret he’s hiding.

‘Perhaps his income isn’t as high as he says. Or perhaps he has some kind of expensive habit or addiction. Or perhaps he has a second family.

‘Obviously, he could just be a selfish arsehole but this is the kind of story where there’s often something else going on.’
TwoCueBalls

‘Why are you with him??

‘Make sure you get everything you’re entitled to in the divorce.’
Flump01

But surely no-one put it better than this person, as highlighted by @nickw84 himself.

Boom.

‘Seconding this.

‘I’m a CHRONIC tightwad, but I’d never see someone I love going into crazy amounts of debt just trying to look after my family, when I could easily support them.’
Thawing-icequeen

Last word to the person who submitted the original post.

‘Yes you’ve hit the nail on the head there.’
Prestigious-Pea2525

Thank goodness for that.

Source Reddit u/Prestigious-Pea2525 Twitter @nickw84