A journalist found the unexpected silver lining in the Stormy Daniels-Donald Trump spanking discourse
If you’ve been following Donald Trump‘s fraud case, currently playing out in a New York courtroom, you’ve probably heard more details about his alleged sex life than you wanted to – and by that we mean any details at all.
Stormy has just finished testifying in an intense sparring match with Trump attorney Necheles. At one point Stormy responded that if she was writing a sex scene for a movie, it certainly would’ve been a lot better than her time with Trump. Full recap. https://t.co/Mq9RkealLS
— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) May 9, 2024
As well as a mental image of Trump in black silk pyjamas (presumably with a red tie), we’re now cursed with the undeletable knowledge that Stormy Daniels, the adult film star whose hush money payment is at the centre of the case, claims to have spanked his bottom with a rolled up magazine.
Jurors struggle to keep straight face during Stormy Daniels testimony recalling spanking Trump with magazine https://t.co/Nfd6JZH2Ql pic.twitter.com/bE3aA7UUuF
— New York Post (@nypost) May 7, 2024
Stormy Daniels says Trump pulled out a magazine, and at that point, she wanted to eat her dinner and asked him if he was always this rude, saying he didn't know how to have a conversation.
"Someone should spank you with that," Daniels recalled saying about the magazine. Daniels…
— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) May 7, 2024
The idea of the former and possibly future ‘Leader of the Free World’ being some kind of a willing participant in Carry On Up the Ballot Box obviously resulted in some mockery. A lot of mockery, in fact.
1.
Stormy Daniels just testified that she spanked Donald Trump with a magazine with his face on it which I'm sure would make the founding fathers very proud of what American democracy has become
— dave ❄️ (@mrdavemacleod) May 7, 2024
2.
At this point, when Donald Trump violates his gag order the judge should be allowed to roll up a magazine and smack Trump on the nose with it.
— Mayo (@MayoIsSpicyy) May 9, 2024
3.
What's the difference between a naughty dog and Donald Trump?
The dog won't pay you to spank it with a rolled up magazine…NB: Please don't hit dogs with magazines, even naughty ones. Sounds like Trump's into that sort of thing though so knock yourself out on that one.
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) May 7, 2024
4.
Stormy described spanking Trump with a rolled up magazine.
Ewwwwwwwww.
— Jo (@JoJoFromJerz) May 7, 2024
5.
Okay hear me out, President Biden agrees to debate Donald Trump but Biden gets to use a rolled up magazine on Trump when he inevitably interrupts him.
I'd pay to watch that.
— Mayo (@MayoIsSpicyy) May 9, 2024
6.
If you’re having a bad day, just remember you’ve never had to spank Trump’s soft, shitty body with a Forbes magazine.
— Kelly (@kelly__le) May 8, 2024
7.
Oh the books that will be written decades from now trying to understand how the heck this guy came to dominate the religious-coded political wing. https://t.co/8r9jbJ7hb9
— Luke Epplin (@LukeEpplin) May 7, 2024
8.
Thanks for making me throw up little in my mouth
— “WOKE” Dee / Threads.com/@deeleftmom (@DeeLeftMom) May 7, 2024
9.
God, I wish we could see his face during her testimony https://t.co/BPvhwofbFw
— Jerseygirl #FBR (@gggirl924) May 7, 2024
10.
MAGAzine https://t.co/jvlD7jWUgZ
— mark normand (@marknorm) May 8, 2024
The Wall Street Journal‘s Molly Ball pointed out the silver lining to the enormous tacky cloud.
.@mollyesque on Stormy Daniels testifying that she spanked Donald Trump with a magazine: "It really speaks to me, the necessity of print… You can't do that with a phone, with a computer. You need magazines, you need print journalism!" pic.twitter.com/p19Atz2E5z
— CNN This Morning with Kasie Hunt (@CNNThisMorning) May 9, 2024
I did say this https://t.co/xNEnhBMXTz
— Molly Ball (@mollyesque) May 9, 2024
Twitter/X approved this message.
This is the greatest punditry that ever punditred. https://t.co/f5K6x6r0rm
— Henry Brean (@RefriedBrean) May 9, 2024
A fair point! https://t.co/YnCgKGfu7m
— Ed O'Keefe (@edokeefe) May 9, 2024
The enduring value of print https://t.co/DaZuAskkbE
— Matthew Yglesias (@mattyglesias) May 9, 2024
Best shout out to print journalists maybe ever. https://t.co/MID3xwQ186
— Victoria Brownworth (@VABVOX) May 9, 2024
To make up for inflicting Trump sex stories on you, here’s some very funny mind bleach courtesy of the wonderful and very much missed Victoria Wood.
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Source CNNThisMorning Image Screengrab, Screengrab
