News p.137

People are sharing “Stupid Things Couples Fight About” and it’ll make you say “this is us”

Brexit to shrink Digestives by 7 per pack and nothing is worth living anymore

What are the worst words in the English language?

This Reddit post about a guy who can hear his neighbours having sex is a “rollercoaster ride from beginning to the end”

Porn star describes Donald Trump as ‘a complete gentleman’ and the bar is set high for 2018

S Club 7 bloke sells Brit award and everyone feels really, really old

Gary Lineker had the perfect comeback to Donald Trump’s ‘shithole countries’ quote

Headline of the day

Michael Wolff’s legal letter to Donald Trump is unfailingly polite and utterly devastating

The rules for contestants on Countdown have gone viral because they show how hilariously pedantic the audience is

The Government rejects petition to get Blue Peter to design a new British passport

Superdrug are selling a lipstick called “Gordon Brown” and people have opinions

This woman has shared her argument with her cobbler and it reads like the best Seinfeld episode you’ve never seen

These extracts from “Dorling Kindersley’s Great Sex Games” have gone viral as they’re like a sex guide written by Alan Partridge

Tory MPs want £120m of lottery money to buy a new royal yacht. The only 8 tweets you need