With the right person, you too could take a selfie with the phone switched off

Irish Dad hilariously winds up his son up about how to turn on the Hoover

Beyoncé almost caused delays on the Nunhead to Lewisham line over Easter

Workers at the Port Talbot steel plant have “hacked” the site safety sign

Toddler has a fiendish plan to escape bedtime

Dog finds pot of Chinese calligraphy ink, family returns home to total carnage

London pub gets broken into. Puts up superb sign.

Praise the lord! It’s the Daily Express miracle menu

Being proficient in technical writing may ruin your letter writer skills

The ANGRIEST reader letter you will read today

Want to feel old? Here are 10 lies that will grant you that wish

People have shared the brilliant passport photos their grandads got when they pressed the wrong button

Businesses in the Scottish town of Ayr are putting its name to a hilarious use

Tom Daley asked Twitter users to photoshop an image of him… and they obliged

Woman makes “bingo cards” for the types of people she’ll see watching her husband’s band

Man makes heavy metal versions of iPhone ringtones

This Instagram account shares the worst texts people receive from their nearest and maybe not-so-dearest family members

The problem with visiting a vegan household