25 Funny Tweets of the Week
It’s December. Just over three weeks to get ready for Christmas for those who celebrate, and only six days to get ready for Hanukkah, if that’s what you do.
Either way, there’s still time to sit down for five minutes with a mug of something warm and the jokes that jumped out at us over the past week.
1.
HOT OLDER MEN in YOUR AREA want to know if YOU have been TOUCHING the THERMOSTAT.
— Mick Lynch's MoreUtterPiffle.bsky.social Fan Club (@MoreUtterPiffle) November 26, 2023
2.
Bloody Amazon…
I ordered four Kindles on a Black Friday deal and they sent me a Two Ronnies DVD.— Sophie Socket (@Socket1Sophie) November 25, 2023
3.
4.
hey sorry i forgot your name already i was busy getting ready to say my name while you were saying your name
— trash jones (@jzux) November 27, 2023
5.
London friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a tube while I, a non-Londoner, sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) November 25, 2023
6.
The reason the UK government refuses to return the Parthenon Sculptures to their rightful owners is because then everyone else will also want their stolen shit back and British museums will be left with just a red phone box, an original Cliff Richard LP and a mouldy carrot
— Fancy Brenda ️️⚧️ (they/she) (@SpillerOfTea) November 29, 2023
7.
My favourite insult pic.twitter.com/AGhR4KTUGd
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) November 30, 2023
8.
the gear change gave me a flashback #DoctorWho pic.twitter.com/Ka0JSQFINQ
— Toby Earle Threads tobyontv (@TobyonTV) November 27, 2023
9.
Napoleon at Waterloo. pic.twitter.com/SZ5FstXsDr
— Simon Leeson (@SimonLeeson1) November 25, 2023
10.
Could be anyone tbh pic.twitter.com/A19Mlm3EdA
— Patrick (@PrayForPatrick) November 27, 2023
11.
one time the kawasaki dealership in our village had to dig a twenty-seven mile canal from the ocean all the way to our house just so they could repossess my dad’s jet ski
— Sunshine Jarboly (@SunshineJarboly) November 29, 2023
12.
Being an ipad baby must be soo exciting imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing candy crush
— youngest known hag (@glamdemon2004) November 30, 2023
