The Guardian had a Christmas health and safety warning about ‘penile fractures’ and everyone took the mickey – 14 favourites
Christmas can be hazardous to your health.
You can fall off a ladder while hanging decorations, have an allergic reaction to the tree, get food poisoning from poorly cooked turkey, get bitten by an errant reindeer, choke on a stuffing ball or laugh your head off at a cracker joke. Maybe not quite all of them.
However, there’s possibly another seasonal hazard that you hadn’t thought of.
‘Euphoria and Intimacy’ sounds like the new fragrance from Giorgio Armani. The topic proved too tempting to resist for some funny (and appalled) people.
1.
Hence The Darkness’ famous song, Christmas Time (Don’t Threat The Bell-End) https://t.co/4SzyjbSoXf
— Greg Jenner (@greg_jenner) December 20, 2023
2.
Looks like Santa's upped his Naughty List game. In my day, he just left you a lump of coal. https://t.co/Os5Md1foSz
— Pip (@philippawarr) December 20, 2023
3.
You’ve been warned https://t.co/DozcNeY9CY
— Richard K Herring (@Herring1967) December 20, 2023
4.
“Fractures”? https://t.co/75pdDl2tsm
— @[email protected] (@mrchrisaddison) December 21, 2023
5.
be careful out there this holiday season https://t.co/JuzggFllQC
— Chris Lloyd (@clloyd9) December 20, 2023
6.
Why do these seasonal penile fractures only affect doctors? https://t.co/Lmo7zkcATE
— Gareth Bellamy (@thebellow) December 20, 2023
7.
Seriously, who are all these people having euphoric and injurious sex in the run-up to Christmas?? (I'll tell you who they're NOT: women trying to organise the accommodation and catering for their entire extended family)https://t.co/PrBifE9G84
— We Wish You A Merritt Christmas (@thestephmerritt) December 20, 2023
8.
The war on Christmas continues unabated https://t.co/0QDh0UbZzj
— Dr. Tim, koolaidologist ❁ (@Tim_H) December 20, 2023
9.
Christmas editions of medical journals are always a bit different….. https://t.co/WcECNVb0ic
— Dr Mark Porter (@drmarkporter) December 20, 2023
10.
I think I know why https://t.co/L6bF0FZgD8 pic.twitter.com/oeqr7RSnRg
— Seb Downie-Blackwell (@DownieSeb) December 21, 2023
11.
little known fact: "risk of penile fractures rises at Christmas" was the B side to Mistletoe and Wine https://t.co/bMpUkoGVSG
— Simon (@broom_wagon) December 20, 2023
12.
Women can get a bit snappy at this time of year. https://t.co/ZyLCSBGFS0
— Florence (@LoxyFlo) December 20, 2023
13.
“Penile fractures, all around us,
People playing, having fun.
It’s the season for love and understanding.
Merry Xmas everyone” https://t.co/MBz8WUysat— AlanGorithm™️ (@ChinnyReckon4) December 20, 2023
14.
Stopped reading after “audible crack.” https://t.co/fPib1YYpXJ
— Benjani (@PoopaTrooper) December 20, 2023
Free advice …
A good reminder to everyone that you need to be especially careful when you come down a chimney.
— James S "take these seeds…" (@GiantGnomes) December 21, 2023
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Source The Guardian Image Unsplash, Freepik
