‘Which British word sounds rude but is not?’ 21 of the best

It’s well known that British people can make anything into an insult by prefacing it with “You absolute …”. Some words and phrases have a bit of a head start when it comes to sounding NSFW, and u/SillyNameChange wanted to get to the bottom of it.

Which British word sounds rude but is not?

Don’t let this selection give you the collywobbles.

1.

The_1st_one
Via screengrab

2.

Futtock – any of a number of timbers forming the lower, more curved portion of the frame in a wooden hull.
mergraote

3.

Mundle (old British word for doing something clumsy).
erudus

4.

Spotted Dick is a delicious cake steamed pudding.
DailyGeek

5.

Sticky wicket.
Helmetdale

6.

Lonely-Title5501
Via screengrab

7.

Bollards.
AdamSubtract

8.

Toad in the hole, I didn’t realise that they made an X rated version of Wind in the Willows but you live and learn.
Dragstar650_yam

9.

Bastard file.
KindAd5566

10.

Crumpet.
Hefty-Remote8058

11.

Animal husbandry.
Glandular-slaughter