Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week

We’ve finally made it to the last Friday in January, and the 43 others are now just a thing of the past. To celebrate, we’ve done what we do every week and rounded up our favourite things from the last seven days of Twitter/X.

Not the last ever seven days of Twitter/X, though since it changed hands …who can be sure?

Sit yourself down, grab your favourite brew – and enjoy the funny stuff.

1.

They arrest you now if you try to use a Tesco Clubcard in Sainsbury's and then punch someone.

— Bilal Zafar – twitch.tv/zafarcakes (@Zafarcakes) January 21, 2024

2.

POV: You're Claudia Winkleman in Greggs pic.twitter.com/mHMdQ5PZps

— Greggs (@GreggsOfficial) January 25, 2024

3.

used to be you could use a pulley system to raise up a piano to a great height and drop it onto an enemy and that person would simply accordion out from under it with a large lump and their teeth replaced by the piano’s keys. but nowadays that would kill a man. because of woke

— old tom (@YuckyTom) January 22, 2024

4.

I feel there could have been a better way for management to diarise my annual leave pic.twitter.com/GcPHGQCtCu

— jack (@hiyajackk) January 22, 2024

5.

It's mad how much the leaping up of toast from the toaster can startle you, when you were the one who put the bread in there. What did you THINK was going to happen.

— Mark Watson (@watsoncomedian) January 24, 2024

6.

Dress for the job you want.

“It says here you’d like to deliver presents on a sleigh”. pic.twitter.com/vvD1quNtdQ

— Neil (@_Enanem_) January 20, 2024

7.

Shocking fuckwittery tonight as I ordered a @Dominos_UK pizza for my kids.
Confused why it’d taken so long & when I rang it kept going through to the Manc branch!
Turns out didn’t change my address from last time I ordered a pizza when I was at @palaceandopera house doing panto pic.twitter.com/ytZnyffJIa

— Jason Manford (@JasonManford) January 20, 2024

8.

me when I’m on a call with someone pic.twitter.com/69gp8pNXhp

— ☔ (@Whotfismick) January 23, 2024

9.

flashback to when my wife outdid herself with this accidental mcdonalds order: her world famous 'ONLY ketchup NO burger' cheeseburger pic.twitter.com/tHH6EnWdp1

— The author, Séamas O'Reilly (@shockproofbeats) January 22, 2024

10.

i have a number of serious questions pic.twitter.com/2P15xzlaBR

— Adam (@adamgreattweet) January 20, 2024

11.

Finally, some good news. pic.twitter.com/Qt6ZpSCtrQ

— Dan Whitehead (@DanWritehead) January 21, 2024

12.

one of the new Gladiators looks a bit like Richard Hammond had a late growth spurt. pic.twitter.com/sKNuO57o9F

— kramerica industries (@hepimp) January 21, 2024