Britain’s strictest headmistress’s claim that children identify as pasta has got her into hot water – 29 favourite reactions
Alabama has been well and truly mired in the culture wars ramped up by the overturning of Roe v Wade, with the Attorney General planning to prosecute anyone who tries to seek an out-of-state abortion, while the ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill is flying through the legislation process.
Naturally, the removal of the rights of his fellow Alabamians was at the forefront of this guy’s mind. Oh no, wait – he just wanted to rant about seeing a child dressed as a cat.
I saw my 1st furry today in Huntsville AL. SMH pic.twitter.com/pzFW6QkQVO
— Dr. Interracial (@billysandytodd) May 15, 2024
Let’s get this straight –
Man sees child dressed as a cat, walking with their mother.
Man imagines that the mother might possibly supply a litter box and feed the child cat food.
Man dubs the child a furry, having clearly decided that googling ‘furries’ is far too much like hard work.
Man records all this and decides it’s perfectly reasonable to post on the internet.
When he says that the Alabama school system has failed, he may have a point – but not for the reason he thinks.
Enter stage left (or far-right), ‘Britain’s strictest headmistress’ – Katharine Birbalsingh.
It’s not the first time Miss_Snuffy has made claims like this, having insisted that she knows of children identifying not only as cats and dogs, but also as holograms.
You fall asleep in fron of Star Trek: The Next Generation just once …
Twitter/X reacted exactly as you’d expect …with copious amounts of piss-taking.
1.
Birbalsingh now insisting that "loads" of teachers have kids in classrooms identifying as pasta.
Sounds like she's blown a fusilli. pic.twitter.com/SJoAsUm2vT
— Otto English (@Otto_English) May 16, 2024
2.
Their name? Linguine. Pronouns? Pen/penne https://t.co/omS7y4LYeN
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) May 16, 2024
3.
<clears throat> Kids identifying as pasta keep turning up like a bad penne.
— Sam Whyte (@SamWhyte) May 16, 2024
4.
I wanna know where Clout Goblin Headmistress got "child identifying as pasta" from. We all know it's bollocks but it hasn't been yanked from thin air, what's the origin story. Did a boy get a farfalle and hold it to his neck to be an elegant little gentleman? Is that it?
— Sooz Kempner (@SoozUK) May 16, 2024
5.
Yeah, you've seen them about, the students identifying as pasta? You've seen the students identifying as pasta, in classrooms, they have them, don't they? They’re everywhere, aren’t they? The students identifying as pasta, calling themselves Al Dente. You’ve seen them, the 1/243 pic.twitter.com/limq9O39P8
— Tom Reagan’s Hat (@RufusTSuperfly) May 16, 2024
6.
Arsehole headteacher [sneering]: “And what do YOU identify as?”
Student: “A fucking lasagne. Don’t you have something more productive to be doing?”
[14 seconds later]
Arsehole headteacher, tweeting: “STUDENTS THINK THEY ARE PASTA THIS IS A REAL THING.”
— Fancy Brenda ️️⚧️ (they/she) (@SpillerOfTea) May 16, 2024
7.
You shouldn't malign a whole generation just because of a fusilli kids pic.twitter.com/sLugW53z5i
— TheIainDuncanSmiths (@TheIDSmiths) May 16, 2024
8.
She identifies as a teacher pic.twitter.com/odMGQfcH7Q
— Janey Godley (@JaneyGodley) May 16, 2024
9.
wish i could meet the child who identifies as pasta, would live to get a penne for their thoughts
— mutable joe (@mutablejoe) May 16, 2024
10.
As someone who works with children, I promise that adults thinking they ‘identify as pasta’ is hilarious to them. IF, and that’s a big if, a child has ever said that, they are 100% taking the piss to see how far they can push right wing adults into embarrassing themselves.
— Cara Lisette (@CaraLisette) May 16, 2024
11.
Furries exist. Nobody denies furries exist. Furries are not trans and don't "identify as animals". They're part of a niche subculture that enjoys anthropomorphic art and dressing up.
Nobody is "identifying as pasta". This woman is a fking lunatic. pic.twitter.com/do0rl3Ze3Q
— Vivian Wulf (@MxVivianWulf) May 16, 2024
12.
this is literally true, my child identifies as pasta but because of woke he's got no friends left. he said he's feeling cannelloni at the moment https://t.co/tDGVr9OTUO
— Dan Hett (@danhett) May 16, 2024
13.
Britain's most psychedelic headteacher pic.twitter.com/yTZXDR8kaJ
— Rob Palk (@robpalkwriter) May 16, 2024
14.
The British public needs to know whether the Pasta Child talks in an Italian accent. pic.twitter.com/IT0v92532d
— omelas food truck festival (@garethlwatkins) May 16, 2024
15.
Someone really needs to sit down and have a strong word with them about this. Not the kids, the adults who are getting absolutely rinsed by them pic.twitter.com/As5INP2GbV
— Jamie Smart (@jamiesmart) May 16, 2024
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16.
Mrs. Snow Leopard and Principal Pasta were in the closet making furries and I saw one of the furries and the furry looked at me pic.twitter.com/lcCSMajop0
— Generic English Teacher (@TabitaSurge) May 16, 2024
17.
honestly if I was still at school and me and my friends got an inkling that a load of weirdos were having a deranged moral panic about children identifying as pasta we would get into that thing so hard, penne necklaces, spaghetti wigs, lasagne ties.
— oneoneoneone (@oneoneoneone) May 16, 2024
18.
World Book Day must be terrifying for this clown https://t.co/x4dSoi50qG
— Congolesa Rice (@judeinlondon) May 16, 2024
19.
Children identifying as pasta that's a load of bolognese
— thedevilstuna (@thedevilstuna) May 15, 2024
20.
She’s off on one again https://t.co/8kFnQkfE0K pic.twitter.com/S5m9Cn1WwX
— Selina j ⚒ (@OfSelina) May 16, 2024
21.
So, basically, the guy that Miss Snuffy is basing her paranoia about furries on saw one kid going shopping in a cat onesie, and then went on a massive trip of his own about them eating cat food and pooing in litter boxes.
— Prof Paul Bernal (@PaulbernalUK) May 16, 2024
22.
I'm just not accepting this "child identifies as pasta" thing until I see a sauce.
— Sam Freedman (@Samfr) May 16, 2024
23.
I'm not saying Britain's Strictest Headmistress should be Britain's Most Unemployed Headmistress*, but if a small child comes up to you and goes "rawr, I'm a tiger!", no one remotely normal would respond by taking to Twitter to denounce the child as some kind of deviant pic.twitter.com/RFG5oDwQX1
— TheIainDuncanSmiths (@TheIDSmiths) May 16, 2024
24.
I'm not saying @Miss_Snuffy, who makes up Churchill quotes, is a gullible idiot, but I'm fairly sure one of her kids used the GCs only joke and now she thinks a kid identifies as pasta.
— Lee Hurley (@HLeeHurley) May 16, 2024
25.
the children in her school have the opportunity to do the funniest thing pic.twitter.com/dJtOrmP3jY
— Sorcha Ní Nia (@Luiseach) May 16, 2024
26.
(Miss Snuffy taking the register) Is Al here? Al Dente?
*children snigger*
Hmm. What about Ravi? Ravi Oli?
*children snigger*
I see. Right, I'll just start with the surnames. *glances down* Toni?
— TheIainDuncanSmiths (@TheIDSmiths) May 16, 2024
27.
Narrator: She did, in fact, make stuff up. pic.twitter.com/6ZEqGAnSw4
— Patch Thompson (@Patch_Thompson) May 16, 2024
28.
Your Twitter name is literally Miss Snuffy, the most furry name imaginable
— Dean Tāne (@Maccadaynu) May 16, 2024
29.
children identifying as pasta? probably just copying what they’ve seen on the tagliatelle https://t.co/UtmHTMu97q
— a rare photo of sean connery signed by roger moore (@steamedhamms) May 16, 2024
There could be an explanation of sorts.
Could the source of this absolutely wild theory about kids identifying as pasta be… a Reddit post from a year ago?https://t.co/QOrFraBbEe https://t.co/UOGWOi6ru3 pic.twitter.com/CLURXSBjyh
— Edwin Hayward (@edwinhayward) May 16, 2024
It cuts both ways.
In some schools, pasta self-identifies as students. E.g. a plate of ravioli once developed sentience, and declared itself to be a year 10 Maths class. But nobody could say anything due to woke.
Worrying times for us all.
— Rich (@RJSHutton) May 16, 2024
READ MORE
Watch as this gun stan’s wild theory about ‘woke’ kids identifying as cats and dogs falls apart
Source Katharine Birbalsingh Image Unsplash
