Exclusive p.289

5 savage takedowns of the Tory candidate who says he’s teased for his intellectualism

Our 11 favourite reactions to Jeremy Corbyn not watching the Queen’s Christmas speech

Donald Trump called Justin Trudeau ‘two-faced’ and cancelled a press conference in a huff – 9 favourite reactions

These 16 funny Christmas card captions are definitely not by Hallmark (NSFW)

The only 5 reactions you need to Dominic Raab’s furious throbbing vein

Eva Victor’s hilarious sketch shows how a real person would react to being given a Peloton

Melania Trump’s Christmas decorations video works far too well as The Shining

The Tories shared Boris Johnson’s oven-ready deal – 12 one-star reviews

David Baddiel had the perfect one-line response to Katie Hopkins slagging off ‘lefties and their excuse for comedy’

Simply 9 funny things you could say both in Starbucks and during sex

Jay Rayner’s story of what he did with his mother Claire’s ashes is just the most amazing tale

Anti-vaxxers don’t want to be called anti-vaxxers anymore – only 5 replies you need

Piers Morgan mocked Nish Kumar after he was booed at a charity gig and his comeback was brutal

The Celebrations Twitter account is trolling people who don’t like Bountys and it’s a bittersweet treat

Trump said he doesn’t know why people think he’s interested in the US – 6 scathing memory joggers