Our top 40 funny tweets of October
Some tweets are so good, they deserve a second (and third, fourth, fifth and so on) look, and these 40 bangers definitely fall into that category.
They were all posted during October and made it into our Tweets of the Week round-ups, so we already know they’re special.
We hope you enjoy them.
1.
There's no way the duck is going to win. pic.twitter.com/KWY4nXiUMD
— Rachel England (@Rachel_England) September 30, 2023
2.
almost the time of year where my mom dips pretzels in chocolate for 3 months straight. nobody eats them. she doesn’t even know why she does it. its just like beavers building dams
— carter hambley (@carterhambley) October 2, 2023
3.
ppl that haven't lived in the country don't understand that u will have REAL beefs w specific animals. we had a fox that was scaring deer and ate my sister's rabbit n the night we caught him was like we got Bin Laden
— a sad little man (@DAVIDPLEASESTOP) October 1, 2023
4.
[Scooby Doo at an interview]
Interviewer: May I see your CV?
Scooby: *hands CV over* Rrres you may!
Interviewer: Round here we call it a CV.— Paul Eggleston (@pauleggleston) October 1, 2023
5.
The Two Rennies. pic.twitter.com/dbPpcCf0Ec
— Neil (@_Enanem_) October 5, 2023
6.
the greeks during the trojan war: i hope this horse finds you well
— kim (@KimmyMonte) October 5, 2023
7.
Warning:
This movie contains "Adult Themes" such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) October 4, 2023
8.
I love how hastily put together this obviously was. BIT of a dry spell romance-wise between the first century BC and Ross and Rachel hotting up in the mid-nineties. pic.twitter.com/GVoelacxJd
— Your mortality, but it looks like Mark Watson (@watsoncomedian) October 5, 2023
9.
scientists have captured footage of me arriving at the hotel buffet breakfast pic.twitter.com/y18ThBqCJa
— mutable joe (@mutablejoe) October 5, 2023
10.
Hey Hotels! Stop keeping decaf coffee in the rooms. If I’m late and need to rush out the last thing I need is a cup of zero energy water that tastes like the Great Depression
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) October 2, 2023
11.
Waiting ten seconds to answer the door when the delivery driver turns up so I don't look too desperate pic.twitter.com/tDN6972iG1
— aah ! so scaRY (@rysharkbait) October 8, 2023
12.
– i just love autumn. the nights drawing in, pumpkin spice lattes. we can even start the countdown to chri—
– FINISH THAT F**KING SENTENCE STUART, I DARE YOU… pic.twitter.com/BPGeJEBMAb— forest fr1ends (@forest_fr1ends) October 8, 2023
13.
Dracula is a tragic figure, a European who doesn't like garlic
— Rob Palk (@robpalkwriter) October 7, 2023
14.
waiting for the cashier to notice me after I screw up the self check out again pic.twitter.com/Q1jxAWbUyg
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) October 8, 2023
15.
I really respect a Muller corner, love to feel like I’m involved in the creative process of a yoghurt
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) October 11, 2023
16.
zip codes outside of the US sound like temporary passwords. like what do you mean your zip code is 6MZ 19X22
— trash jones (@jzux) October 10, 2023
17.
I’ve discovered that my mom’s crazy long voicemails are less annoying if I think of them as podcasts.
This morning’s episode is called “The Following List Of People You Don’t Remember Ever Meeting Are Now Dead.”
— D.N. Schmidt (@Writepop) October 11, 2023
18.
Aggressive recipe of the day. pic.twitter.com/mFhY6bhq5Z
— Daniel Holland ॐ (@DannyDutch) October 5, 2023
19.
New Riverdance looks shit pic.twitter.com/IXz8n92oOb
— JPC (@jpxan71) October 9, 2023
20.
If they don't sell a Fight Club Sandwich then what are we even doing here? pic.twitter.com/lNieYgVRp5
— Kona Slater (@KonaSlater) October 9, 2023
