Exclusive p.414

One Apprentice candidate took a much-deserved panning online – the 14 best burns (contains spoilers)

People are enjoying why this conspiracy theorist thought the FBI were bugging the Republicans

Gary Lineker’s shutdown of Piers Morgan over Raheem Sterling’s comical penalty was just brutal

This office screw-up went viral because it’s very funny with a heartwarming twist

This RAF veteran had the perfect response to someone who trolled him for not wearing a poppy

Comedian Jack Whitehall is a Spice Girls Wannabe but they have other ideas

‘Supervet’ Noel Fitzpatrick rescuing this swan is the most bizarre video you’ll see today

The Mail made it even easier than usual for this writer to spot they’d ‘ripped off’ his work

Ben Goldsmith said this about immigration and the tube and these takedowns are very satisfying indeed

Someone challenged Brian Cox to sum up all of science in 2 minutes so he did this

‘Poppy watch’ highlights questionable and downright bizarre displays of remembrance and here are 27 of the best

Someone asked people to share stories about men who never ask questions on a date and the replies came pouring in

Simply 19 funny tweets to get you in the mood for Bonfire Night

Favourite 13 takedowns of the Telegraph journalist who’s fed up with today’s ‘boring culture’

Either someone hacked this right-wing mag or it’s the social media guy’s last day in the office