Exclusive p.434

Salisbury novichok suspects say they were only visiting cathedral – our favourite 25 responses

Mark Wahlberg’s obsessive daily schedule has inspired someone to share their own – equally weird – timetable

This woman had a question and fortunately for us these 23 people replied

People have been coming up with words for the male equivalent of a ‘mistress’ – the 17 best

Kanye West said something odd again and these 13 takedowns hit the right note

Adults misunderstanding kids’ questions is the thread we didn’t know we needed – the 24 most awkward

This writer’s tale went viral because it’s sad and funny, cautionary and amazing

Paul McCartney talked about wanking with John Lennon and all these Beatles puns came at once

Richard Branson hates people being late and these 23 replies are everything you’d hope for

The takedowns of this Tommy Robinson supporter are a very satisfying read

Lyndsey Scott wins comeback of the week

People have been photoshopping Donald Trump’s 9/11 fist pump and here are 23 of the best

Sainsbury’s had the perfect response to Waitrose’s student ‘starter kit’

Susanna Reid showing why the most savage takedowns are sometimes the most subtle

Favourite 24 things people are saying about Donald Trump’s 9/11 fist pump