Pics p.370

Man makes a key error when he texts his boss trying to get out of work

“No Richard, you’re strangling the WRONG president!”

Donald Trump’s list of “unreported attacks” spells “attacker” wrong 27 times

19 awful estate agent photographs that’ll make you glad you can’t afford to buy a house anyway because they’re all terrible

Why you should think twice about getting a tattoo in a language you don’t understand

For some reason this rather marvellous montage of the Queen reminded us of Doctor Who

Meanwhile in Washington

First Brexit, then Trump … now the meteors have started

28 laughably desperate tweets moaning about non-existent problems

A hawk hood improved with a pair of googly eyes

Poundland are selling some really romantic Valentine’s gifts

Gary Lineker owns Piers Morgan and Donald Trump on Twitter

New (eye)ball please! We know it’s Monday but it could be worse, you could be this umpire

“I do not want any engraving, just leave the metal plate blank. No engraving.”

Imagine the full English #Brexit you’ll be suffering if you eat all 4,000 calories