Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
“Your order has been shipp..”
Me: pic.twitter.com/zYXmTapozW
— Luis Vercetti (@97Vercetti) August 26, 2026
14.
how it feels to be over 25 in tech pic.twitter.com/cLF6XdB9Z6
— alli (@sonofalli) August 26, 2026
15.
I just blocked my boss on Teams.
HR reached out so I blocked them too.
Why has no one thought of this before?— Welcome Matt. (@YrWelcomeMatt) August 26, 2026
16.
Sorry I missed your call, I was wearing my baggiest 2005 basketball shorts and the phones vibrate setting didn’t even register
— Rhine Stoned Cowboy (@BisqueBoi) August 25, 2026
17.
This is a tough one pic.twitter.com/DC9srir3xd
— Aldis Ozols 🇦🇺 Official Source (@ozols_aldis) August 26, 2026
18.
I disarmed a man holding a knife at a restaurant this evening. Technically, it was a skewer not a knife, and technically I didn't disarm him so much as take all of the grilled meat off of it, but still…hero.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 24, 2026
19.
Couldn't get my phone to transcribe "MIME" so I said "when you are silently French and play pretend"
— Jennifer Lee Rossman (@JenLRossman) August 25, 2026
20.
"Ok, the band is called Spice Girls."
"Great – tell me more!"
"Ok, so there's Ginger."
"Perfect – because of the red hair and ginger is a spice."
"Yes. Next, Posh."
"Not a spice, but I guess spices can BE posh."
"Scary."
"But-"
"Ooh, and Baby."
"Why would you cook with-"
— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) August 25, 2026
21.
i think you might be the opposite of artificial intelligence in that you're naturally stupid
— derek guy (@dieworkwear) August 25, 2026
22.
Roman guy: you won't believe how many women I've slept with
Other roman: mmm?
Roman guy: don't be ridiculous, not that many— Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) August 25, 2026
23.
Nice to see them still touring, even with just one of the original lineup. pic.twitter.com/gJkYNGK3ks
— Tom Peck (@tompeck) August 24, 2026
24.
White House: "President Trump remains in excellent health." pic.twitter.com/tbZTZtG1FK
— Middle Age Riot (@middleageriot) August 23, 2026
25.
If you see bison on the road, be patient and stay in your vehicle. Wait for them to move, and do not honk your horn. That will only make them go slower. A bison’s level of aggressiveness, both physical and passive, is legendary.
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) August 26, 2026