Twitter p.248

Our 16 favourite World Book Day jokes to take your minds off hand washing

If Mr. Men characters were Twitter users

People are describing their roles via “greatest hits” – 28 absolute bangers

An old picture from Stonehenge is creeping people out – 9 nightmare scenarios

Gary Lineker had the perfect response to this joke about Roger Bannister

Our 5 favourite takes on the Chancellor’s not at all cringeworthy handwashing photo

People have been ruining a musical by adding an extra word – 23 favourites

Allison Pearson’s been trolling young people over coronavirus – only 5 responses you need

These two rail travellers aren’t messing with coronavirus and people had questions, lots of questions

This police query about obscured car number plates took an enjoyably unexpected handbrake turn

PETA had a theory about coronavirus and the takedown was best served cold

Boris Johnson said he’s been shaking everyone’s hand despite coronavirus – only 9 responses you need

Simply 13 Happy Birthday alternatives to sing whilst washing your hands for 20 seconds

The Telegraph said the UK’s EU negotiators enjoyed a ‘patriotic’ English breakfast – 9 delicious responses

A former UKIP MEP said hens ‘invented eggs’ in a row over English breakfasts and the internet cracked