‘What’s a personality trait that seems attractive at first but becomes unbearable over time?’ – 23 slowly unfurling red flags

Have you ever experienced buyer’s remorse, where you jump at something with enthusiasm only to wish you’d considered a bit more thoroughly when you actually get it home?

Well, that can be applied to people too, if you rush into a friendship or relationship with someone who initially seems great, only to realise later that they are insufferably annoying.

They’ve been chatting about this on AskForAnswers subreddit following this question from Ladiejuliy:

What’s a personality trait that seems attractive at first but becomes unbearable over time?

Lots of people chipped in with their thoughts on qualities that should be carefully considered before you commit, like these…

1.

‘High energy all the time. Fun for a night out. Exhausting for a life together. Sometimes you just want quiet. Sometimes you want to sit in silence. The human battery can’t be at 100% forever.’
–Icy-Jacket7520

2.

‘Being feisty. It can be fun but people who do it often make it a core personality trait and eventually it will become all your interactions. Then it’s just obnoxious. Basic communication becomes difficult.’
–SympathyAdvanced6461

3.

‘Conversely, someone being super laid back and carefree is fun while dating, but once you’re married, it can quickly translate into only one person being responsible for all of the difficult stuff.’
–Inevitable_Source949

4.

‘Having you make the decisions so that you “get what you want”. It turns into you organising every date, holiday, meal out. Then managing 100% of the big stuff like buying a house, managing a household, raising children.’
–Mysterious_Fox_8058

5.

‘Not taking anything seriously.’
–MattDubh

6.

‘Avoidant Attachment Style, I recommend you read into it.’
–rolph4

7.

‘Someone being overly positive and optimistic. I don’t care if everything is gonna turn out well, sometimes I just need someone to understand where my anxiety is coming from and see things from my perspective.’
–merdeauxfraises

8.

‘I’ve heard it referred to as toxic positivity. I feel like it minimises what I am going through and doesn’t allow any space for feeling the feelings.’
–Both-Property-6485

9.

‘Witty sarcasm. Entertaining at first. Cruel and exhausting after a while.’
–LateBloomerBoomer

10.

‘Overly helpful. It’s wonderful at first then becomes smothering, controlling and stressful.

They feel confused (or angry) why you start rejecting whatever they’ve bought or arranged to do for you that you never asked for or you said no to whenever they suggested it.’
–Anglea7stars

11.

‘Talking a lot and being high energy or being overconfident. Being overconfident can be attractive because some people tend to walk and talk like they own the place and that’s kinda attractive at the start but once you get with that person it can just look like narcissism.’
–almondmilk67

12.

‘Workaholic. At first it feels good they have so much ambition but quickly turns to that’s all they talk/think about.’
–Ok-Web2060