25 of the funniest posts we’ve seen on Bluesky this week
Welcome to our Wednesday round-up of the funniest things Bluesky has served up in the past week. It gets a little topical in parts, but don’t let that put you off.
If you see something you like, try to show it some love, with a like, a share, or even a follow.
1.
Getting into the shower too quickly and having to wait for the water to warm up…
2.
He looks like he’s been coaxed out of his shell by a lettuce leaf.
— Jason (@nickmotown.bsky.social) 12 May 2026 at 07:49
3.
Me: Waiter, there are pieces of rubber on my plate.
Waiter: Sir, that’s grilled octopus.
Me, taking notes:
4.
Just applied a coat of hammerite to some garden furniture and the inside of a wheelbarrow. Might start a podcast and claim the manosphere throne.
— HappyToast (@happytoast.co.uk) 10 May 2026 at 19:56
5.
One of my Sims just ordered a pizza and it cost $177 so I think we can all agree that it is a highly realistic video game.
— Roxi Horror (@roxiqt.com) 9 May 2026 at 18:21
6.
We grew up so poor we could only see Le Miserable. It was just one miserable up there, wavin' a flag and singin' and firin' a cannon and whatnot.
— George Wallace (@mrgeorgewallace.bsky.social) 11 May 2026 at 18:59
7.
young person putting on seatbelt: click
old person putting on seatbelt: where is it? is there one there? i can’t feel it. it’s sunk into the seat. why has it sunk into the seat. it’s not working. it won’t reach. it won’t click. have i got yours. oh i’ll just hold it that’s the same
— Michael Spicer (@michaelspicer.bsky.social) 11 May 2026 at 21:12
8.
I put my wallet and keys in the same spot every night (the place where I can't remember where they are).
— Kalvin the Reindeer (@kalvinmacleod.bsky.social) 9 May 2026 at 16:58
9.
give a man a waffle he eats for a day teach a man to waffle he’s indecisive for a lifetime
— 🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊 (@professorkiosk.wtf) 10 May 2026 at 19:59
10.
If Starmer can hang in for a couple of weeks Martin O'Neill will be free to stand in until the next GE x
— BUCKERS (@deathofbuckley.bsky.social) 12 May 2026 at 10:18
11.
Might start using ‘staycation’ to mean absolutely any time spent in our solar system, just to piss people off.
“Oh yeah, the astronauts on the Orion spacecraft went on the most amazing 10-day staycation.”
— Lev Parikian (@levparikian.bsky.social) 12 May 2026 at 10:12
12.
I've just been stopped by a copper. He gave me the verdigris.
— Moose Allain (@mooseallain.bsky.social) 10 May 2026 at 09:09