This mum’s shutdown of men ‘grandstanding’ about abortion and women’s rights is just brilliantly done
It’s extraordinary and so disheartening that the anti-abortion debate is still a thing, put right back to the top of the agenda after Alabama passed a bill to outlaw abortion in almost all cases
This mum took to Twitter because she’d had enough of ‘listening to men grandstand about women’s productive rights’ – there are lots of them around – to explain why she believes ‘men actually have zero interest in stopping abortion’.
And it went wildly viral because it was so brilliantly done.
1.
I’m a mother of six, and a Mormon. I have a good understanding of arguments surrounding abortion, religious and otherwise. I’ve been listening to men grandstand about women’s reproductive rights, and I’m convinced men actually have zero interest in stopping abortion. Here’s why…
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
2.
If you want to stop abortion, you need to prevent unwanted pregnancies. And men are 100% responsible for unwanted pregnancies. No for real, they are. Perhaps you are thinking: IT TAKES TWO! And yes, it does take two for _intentional_ pregnancies.
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
3.
But ALL unwanted pregnancies are caused by the irresponsible ejaculations of men. Period. Don’t believe me? Let me walk you through it. Let’s start with this: women can only get pregnant about 2 days each month. And that’s for a limited number of years.
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
4.
That makes 24 days a year a women might get pregnant. But men can _cause_ pregnancy 365 days a year. In fact, if you’re a man who ejaculates multiple times a day, you could cause multiple pregnancies daily. In theory a man could cause 1000+ unwanted pregnancies in just one year.
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
5.
And though their sperm gets crappier as they age, men can cause unwanted pregnancies from puberty till death. So just starting with basic biology + the calendar it’s easy to see men are the issue here.
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
6.
But what about birth control? If a woman doesn’t want to risk an unwanted pregnancy, why wouldn’t she just use birth control? If a women can manage to figure out how to get an abortion, surely she can get birth control, right? Great questions.
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
7.
Modern birth control is possibly the greatest invention of the last century, and I am very grateful for it. It’s also brutal. The side effects for many women are ridiculously harmful. So ridiculous, that when an oral contraception for men was created, it wasn’t approved…
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
8.
… because of the side effects. And the list of side effects was about 1/3 as long as the known side effects for women’s oral contraception. https://t.co/SA9oZQD6i8
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
9.
There’s a lot to be unpacked just in that story, but I’ll simply point out (in case you didn’t know) that as a society, we really don’t mind if women suffer, physically or mentally, as long as it makes things easier for men.
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
10.
But good news, Men: Even with the horrible side effects, women are still very willing to use birth control. Unfortunately it’s harder to get than it should be. Birth control options for women require a doctor’s appointment and a prescription. It’s not free, and often not cheap.
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
11.
In fact there are many people trying to make it more expensive by fighting to make sure insurance companies refuse to cover it. Oral contraceptives for women can’t be acquired easily, or at the last minute. And they don’t work instantly.
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
12.
If we’re talking about the pill, it requires consistent daily use and doesn’t leave much room for mistakes, forgetfulness, or unexpected disruptions to daily schedules. And again, the side effects can be brutal. I’M STILL GRATEFUL FOR IT PLEASE DON’T TAKE IT AWAY.
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
13.
I’m just saying women’s birth control isn’t simple or easy. In contrast, let’s look at birth control for men, meaning condoms. Condoms are readily available at all hours, inexpensive, convenient, and don’t require a prescription. They’re effective, and work on demand, instantly.
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
14.
Men can keep them stocked up just in case, so they’re always prepared. Amazing! They are so much easier than birth control options for women. As a bonus, in general, women love when men use condoms. They keep us from getting STDs, they don’t lessen our pleasure during sex…
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
15.
… or prevent us from climaxing. And the best part? Clean up is so much easier — no waddling to the toilet as your jizz drips down our legs. So why in the world are there ever unwanted pregnancies? Why don’t men just use condoms every time they have sex? Seems so simple, right?
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
16.
Oh. I remember. Men _don’t_ love condoms. In fact, men frequently pressure women to have sex without a condom. And it’s not unheard of for men to remove the condom during sex, without the women’s permission or knowledge. (Pro-tip: That’s assault.) https://t.co/c2HHjkbx6G
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
17.
Why would men want to have sex without a condom? Good question. Apparently it’s because for the minutes they are penetrating their partner, having no condom on gives the experience more pleasure.
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
18.
So… there are men willing to risk getting a woman pregnant — which means literally risking her life, her health, her social status, her relationships, and her career, so that they can experience a few minutes of _slightly_ more pleasure? Is that for real? Yes. Yes it is.
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
19.
What are we talking about here pleasure-wise? If there’s a pleasure scale, with pain beginning at zero and going down into the negatives, a back-scratch falling at 5, and an orgasm without a condom being a 10, where would sex _with_ a condom fall? Like a 7 or 8?
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
20.
So it’s not like sex with a condom is _not_ pleasurable, it’s just not _as_ pleasurable. An 8 instead of a 10. Let me emphasize that again: Men regularly choose to put women at massive risk by having non-condom sex, in order to experience a few minutes of slightly more pleasure.
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
21.
Now keep in mind, for the truly condom-averse, men also have a non-condom, always-ready birth control built right in, called the pull out. It’s not perfect, and it’s a favorite joke, but it is also 96% effective. https://t.co/WnpSadRtRs
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
22.
So surely, we can expect men who aren’t wearing a condom to at least pull out every time they have sex, right?
Nope.
And why not?
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
23.
Well, again, apparently it’s _slightly_ more pleasurable to climax inside a vagina than, say, on their partner’s stomach. So men are willing to risk the life, health and well-being of women, in order to experience a tiny bit more pleasure for like 5 seconds during orgasm.
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
24.
It’s mind-boggling and disturbing when you realize that’s the choice men are making. And honestly, I’m not as mad as I should be about this, because we’ve trained men from birth that their pleasure is of utmost importance in the world. (And to dis-associate sex and pregnancy.)
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
25.
While we’re here, let’s talk a bit more about pleasure and biology. Did you know that a man CAN’T get a woman pregnant without having an orgasm? Which means that we can conclude getting a woman pregnant is a pleasurable act for men.
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018
26.
In contrast, a woman can have non-stop orgasms with or without a partner and never once get herself pregnant. A woman’s orgasm has literally nothing to do with pregnancy or fertility — her clitoris exists not for creating new babies, but simply for pleasure.
— Gabrielle Blair (@designmom) September 13, 2018