What do office workers actually do? – 17 glimpses into the mundane reality of white collar work

If you’ve never worked in an office, the whole environment can seem like a mystery. Just what exactly do people get up to in big buildings filled with computers and meeting rooms?

It’s a question that’s been plaguing AndromedaDependency, so they decided to turn to Reddit for some insight into corporate life by posting the following to r/AskUK:

‘Other than a few service jobs when I was younger I’ve always been self employed in arts and performing.

I see so many people through the windows in offices just sat in front of a computer and it seems like an environment that I am completely naive about, when I think about what they might be actually doing I just draw a blank.

Also do office workers need qualifications or do they just need to be able to sit still and focus on one thing all day?

If you work in an office, please enlighten me, what does the other half do all day?’

White collar workers were all too keen to fill them in on the mundanity and madness of office life with these replies…

1.

‘Have meetings about future meetings to decide the details of next month’s meetings.’
-johnnyjonnyjonjon

2.

‘It can vary massively from business to business but in general 20% is work and the other 80% is dealing with incompetent management and office politics.’
-Sam-Lowry27B-6

3.

‘For me –

Get in, check emails. Realise it’s mostly made up of stuff that has been “sent to all” from HR about wellness and mental heath. The rest is made up of spam from the various workplace benefit companies, and the occasional mass email from management about the directions for a process because someone has ballsed it up in the last 24 hours.

‘Get assigned spreadsheet where we copy data from a Microsoft form into Excel because nobody wants to make the process that does it automated incase it messes up a load of 4 year old legacy data and they have to cop the blame for it.

‘Break

‘Back to spreadsheet because we all know if you smash through it you’ll just get assigned a task a team lead was supposed to do but they’ll see an opportunity to delegate if you’re sat idle.

‘Lunch.

‘Finish spreadsheet, talk to colleagues but make a point to make it look secondary to the task you’re presenting to be doing at the time.

‘Meetings about products that are in motion that will probably get culled halfway through their development cycle. Probably introducing a process to respond to customers as to why their product is no longer in development also.

‘KPI review where you get to see where the goalposts are being moved this month.

‘Go home and wish you were born with a natural talent for singing or sports so you don’t have to engage in this mind numbing rigmarole daily.’
-Suddendeath777

4.

‘Put numbers in boxes in spreadsheets, and then have meetings to argue with clients about said numbers in boxes on spreadsheets (I’m a quantity surveyor)’
-J1995P1

5.

‘Eh, I worked in the service industry for about a decade and have been an office worker for almost as long.

‘Huge difference between the two is you’re being paid to be more than just a body with office work, you’re being paid for your brain power as well, which in my opinion is more tiring in the longterm if you don’t look after yourself.
Service industry work was gruelling but once my shift was over that was it, and I could also do my shift completely zoned out just acting from muscle memory, the stakes are also pretty low, there’s always ways to fix problems or you just get on with it and it’s annoying but nothing major happens.

‘Office work is different, i’m doing very few physical actions but i’m constantly working in my head, and the consequences of getting things wrong can very quickly cost tens of thousands. I could sneeze and click the wrong button and that’d be £5000 down the drain. (fun fact I did actually yawn and click the wrong button once and it cost about £7500, but no-one noticed before I managed to fix it so as far as my boss is concerned, it didn’t happen.)’
-hunsnet457

6.

‘Really depends on the company and the job. “Office work” isn’t a job, it’s just a description of the location where you do your job. I work for an accounting firm. I’m a “fee earner” in that the firm charges clients for the services I provide them. We’re supported by a “back office” that does all the other tasks required to keep a business functioning e.g., marketing, HR, IT, legal, finance. We all work in the same office but have completely different skill sets, experiences and educations.’
-hallerz87

7.

‘I work in an office, day will consist of preparing PowerPoint presentations about shit that the senior executives need to know about, process amendments, business and investments cases for projects, plans to execute said projects, meetings to ensure people are doing what they should be doing to achieve those goals etc. rinse and repeat.

‘The office work supports the softer skills which is leadership, presenting, negotiating and driving motivation (those are the harder things to hone).

‘Basically a load of bullshit to make bullshit happen that should happen anyway if people weren’t idiots to line pockets of super rich owners.’
-NumeroRyan

8.

‘When I first started office work in the early 90s a mate, who worked at his dads factory, constantly took the piss.
Because I was, in his mind, always drinking coffee, hanging outside whatever room, with a milf hanging on my every word before I shagged her in a stockroom.

‘No matter what I told him, he couldn’t shake that idea of hedonism, that never happens in an office environment, and relentlessly took the piss. He couldn’t wrap his head around being mentally exhausted… the only exhaustion is physical.
Mid 1995, his dads factory hit hard times. He was struggling to find work, because of the nepotism, and took a job at Parcelines offices because they were the only company who he impressed.

‘I will never, ever forget him asking me, just before he started his first day, if he should go “equipped”. He absolutely expected, and I mean WITHOUT DOUBT to be pulled into a stock room by a female member of staff and be shagged to within an inch of his life.

‘Within three weeks he was handing his notice in. Not due to sexual exhaustion he was expecting, but the relentless work he was expected to do. Phones? Answer constantly. Not on phone? Computer work. Neither? Here’s some paperwork.

‘From 1996 he never took the piss again.’
-Extreme-Kangaroo-842

9.

‘We basically just send emails to each other all day, and intermittently make loud tutting noises or sighs.’
-trojan10_om