Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
We aren’t in the habit of using the word ‘Friyay’, and we’re not about to start now, but we get it, Friyayers, we get it …we feel that excitement, too. Not least because we’ve been reading everyone’s posts about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, and buzzing off them.
We’ve also got all these non-AMW funny tweets to share with you, and we think there’s gold in them there posts. We hope you find something that makes you agree.
1.
While Tony Blair famously hosted Noel Gallagher in Downing Street, Gordon Brown invited Spinal Tap, and they turned up to No. 11.
— Jason (@nickmotown.bsky.social) February 15, 2026 at 9:23 AM
2.
Would it hurt the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside? I have like 50 wooden balls already.
— Gramps (@GrandpaHarris65) February 14, 2026
3.
Alligators can live up to 100 years, which is why there's an increased likelihood that they will see you later
— Weekday Jokes (@weekdayjokes) February 17, 2026
4.
If Zia Yusuf wants to identify as Shadow Home Secretary he can but he can’t be allowed to compete in political competitions. It’s not fair on Chris Philp the actual biological Shadow Home Sec.
— Florence Lox 🇬🇧🏴 (@floboflo) February 18, 2026
5.
I don't get modern dating. It's all "hey wanna come over and watch the parliament channel?" and you're like "obviously!" and then they have THE NERVE to put on the amending stage of a bill but haven't printed copies of the bill and the amendments for you. Chivalry is dead!
— Charlie Feldman (@ParlCharlie) February 17, 2026
6.
Americans sometimes use French words like "hors d'oeuvres." And that's just for starters.
— Alice Mills (@millsalice144) February 18, 2026
7.
the human body was not designed to remember this many passwords
— maro (@ProofofMaro) February 18, 2026
8.
professor x: what's your power?
me: deflection
professor x: bullets? gamma rays?
me: criticism
professor x: that’s a stupi—
me: say, is that a new tie?
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) February 18, 2026
9.
i will never forgive the internet for making me angry at the phrase "accept cookies"
— trash jones (@jzux) February 16, 2026
10.
“Ted, would you like to pretend to be in a shadow cabinet with me?” pic.twitter.com/PQiAFQ67JU
— Rob B (@RobBfromDerby) February 18, 2026
11.
🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/ByHXeVO6j9
— dave lawrence 🐟🐟🐠 (@dave43law) February 18, 2026
12.
If I had a pound for every time my wife said I was a bit like 'Rain Man', I'd have 323 pounds.
— Ian Power (@IHPower) February 13, 2026