People shared the pettiest reasons they didn’t date someone and it’s a nit-picking delight – 37 hilariously trifling no-nos

There’s nothing quite so mysterious as the human heart, right? Oh, that and how Donald Trump got elected for a second term.

But back to the human heart – nothing Trump knows anything about, obviously. Will you stop going on about Donald Trump?

We’re here because High_Sleep3694 had a rather fabulous question for the good people of Reddit.

‘What was the pettiest reason you refused to date someone?’

It prompted no end of very petty – and very funny – reasons why things didn’t work out. Here are our 37 favourites.

1.

‘All The Words In Every Text He Sent Were Capitalised. Trust Me, It Got ANNOYING.’ Daffodildandy

2.

‘She had the same name as my mom.’ S_FrogPants

3.

‘She called someone “a pompous”. Nope, she didn’t say he was acting pompous or that he was a pompous ass. He was a pompous.’ bandi53

4.

‘When I found out that he thought lemons were unripened oranges.’ CoffeeSmooch

5.

‘I went out with someone who has the same name as my cat. I brought him back to my house and the second I got home I greeted my cat and the guy looked at me and I knew right then and there that I couldn’t do this.’ ringaling11

6.

‘He wore a Bluetooth piece in his ear. The constant blue light blinking from the side of his head was too much for me. Another guy would text “dame” instead of “damn”. It wasn’t a typo either, it was every time.’ ldgrffn

7.

‘Every time I took a bite of food he asked me a question, after which he stared at me while I finished chewing. The date went on like this for an hour, he had a supernatural sense of poor timing.’ impossibleturtle

8.

‘Her nostrils were f-cking tiny. WTF.’ justlurkingmate

9.

‘Went on a first date to the movies. This fucking guy…instead of picking up his drink and lifting the straw to his mouth, he would put his hands on his knees, keeping his eyes on the screen, and lean over to the drink and ‘hunt’ for the straw with his face and his mouth contorted sideways trying to land on the straw. Weirdest shit ever.’ Pocketeer1

10.

‘Every single text of her ended with ‘…’ I just couldn’t do it man.’ DeuceSe7en

11.

‘Her complete inability to follow the plot of a movie.
“Who’s that?”
“Where’d he come from?”
“Why’d she do that?”
“Who is he again?”
‘I just couldn’t.’
Jealous-Network-8852

12.

‘She didn’t know that foxes were real animals. She thought they were mythical and just in movies.’ rpp8

13.

‘She ate her peas one at a time.’ 02K30C1