Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week

It’s Friday, but it’s neither five to five nor Crackerjack – one for the kids, there – and we’re ready to dive headlong into our weekly round-up of funny tweets.

We hope it sets you up well for the long weekend (if you’re in the UK or Ireland). If you see something you like, put a thing on it (a retweet or a like).

Let’s go.

1.

[day after everyone got turned human again]
beast:
beauty:
beast:
beauty: …so do we just not have cups now?

— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) April 27, 2026

2.

Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to log into Microsoft Authenticator 47 times a day.

— Ᏽ (@OrevaZSN) April 28, 2026

3.

Golf was invented so people would know how big hail was

— Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ (@Bob_Janke) April 28, 2026

4.

Spotted a massive scam at the optician today.
She got me to sit miles away from a picture of letters written in tiny print then claimed that I would need glasses if I couldn’t read them.
Well of course I couldn’t. It was a set up.
Luckily I memorised the bottom line on the way in…

— Florence Lox (@floboflo) April 28, 2026

5.

Me: I’m not old

The flashlight on my phone that’s been on for an hour for no reason:

— meghan (@deloisivete) April 28, 2026

6.

I don’t want a funeral. I want a group of Oompa Loompas to dance about and sing a rhyme of my character flaws

— Lady Gooch (@_ladygooch) April 27, 2026

7.

Fell for the oldest trick in the book (accepted apple from a serpent).

— Kip Conlon (@kipconlon) May 1, 2026

8.

scrolled too fast and thought he was running for reform pic.twitter.com/9BcXlBQC7o

— laura 🙂 (@1aurarosee) April 29, 2026

9.

‘Are you busy?’

Me: ‘No’

*Incoming video call* pic.twitter.com/qtj3vh3Y9n

— Dictator (@dictator_jii) April 29, 2026

10.

I have a very rich vocabulary. Admittedly, I don't know the exact definition of every word I festoon, but I'm still pretty sure I do it acrimoniously.

— Phil Hoyeck (@PAHoyeck) April 27, 2026

11.

Graffiti at Ea Nasir's house: https://t.co/HtyY6IYAcw

— Classical Studies Memes (@CSMFHT) April 29, 2026

12.

Thomas Magnum solved 100% of his cases in 1983 despite his shorts cutting off 100% of blood flow to his testicles. pic.twitter.com/4mGEtDjGxa

— Super 70s Sports (@Super70sSports) April 29, 2026