Somebody asked about ‘survival tactics’ for this week’s blistering heatwave – 21 ways to remain as cool as a cucumber

There are a lot of climate change disbelievers out there, but what is their opinion on the fact we’ve had one of the wettest, gloomiest Junes on record which is suddenly about to wildly swing into extreme high temperatures of 38 degrees?

Actually, we don’t want to know. What we are more interested in is getting some tips on not melting into a pool of sweat and suntan lotion. Over on the AskUK subreddit, user nodemus posted this:

What are your survival tactics going into the predicted uk heat?

I’m not going anywhere staying in, and praying it’s over quickly.

Good shout. And lots of other people chipped in with their hot weather strategies, like these…

1.

‘Pop into my pool at 5am each morning for a 40 min swim. Country club for breakfast. Lounge around the house with air con set to 12°C. Maybe a spot of work. Not sure the afternoons. Maybe wake up from my dream and run a cold bath.’
–OrangeRipple55

2.

‘Go to the Winchester and wait for it all to blow over.’
–RoutineAbroad3486

3.

‘I’m a gardener with several overgrown clearances booked in so I guess I’ll just die.’
–Roseoman

4.

‘If you can take a cool box of water/ice with you, stick your feet or forearms in for 5-10 minutes now and then. It’ll help cool your core temperature quite quickly (quicker the colder it is). Other than that, be careful buddy. Hopefully the customers will keep you well hydrated.’
–melikebiscuit

5.

‘Sit comfortably behind the near three foot thick walls of my 300 year old house.’
–Exact-Put-6961

6.

‘Getting into my high-cut jean shorts (the ones cut so high the pocket fabric hangs out) and white string vest that I only wear to wash my car. I then go to the drive and spray myself with a garden hose while shaking the water from my hair as rays of sun stream through. I’ll make a point to undulate my hips wildly. At this point, my body is absolutely glistening in the hot sunmer sun.

I then proceed to bend over the hood of my car to lather it and myself with a soapy sponge, uttering all the while “Oooh I’m so wet and dirty, won’t someone help me get clean?”

As usual, my wife then invariably then yells out the window to me: “What the bloody hell are you doing? And whose car is that on our drive? Get your ass back inside, you pillock”.’
–fulthrottlejazzhands

7.

‘Wear as little as possible, do as little as possible, eat all the ice cream.’
–Questjon

8.

‘Live in Scotland.’
–You_who_

9.

‘I work in a school kitchen and we’re short staffed so honestly it just going to be constantly cooling myself off in the sink, downing icy water and praying for it to be over asap.’
–Who_Knows_M3

10.

‘Eating cold food and complaining.’
–Laylelo

11.

‘I’m literally going round putting foil up on all my windows today. Our windows are all south facing, it’s 24°c in the house atm and 28°c outside, so I’m dreading this. Blinds down. Multiple ice bottles and pads in the freezer. Ugh.

I’m also going to try not to punch this woman at work who constantly turns the air con off because she’s cold. I may not get through this week with my job in tact…’
–Velveteen_Rabbit1986

12.

‘Siesta and eat dinner at midnight like a Spaniard.’
–AdRealistic4984