MPs voting on Trident: the only four tweets you need to read

MPs to vote on Trident nuclear weapons system renewal in parliamentary vote later today after CND have handed in a petition to abandon it with over 40,000 signatures.

But you’re here for the jokey comments, so here’s the best four:

1.

I’m happy to keep Trident as long as we rename it 50,000 New Nurses Or 1 Million Affordable Homes Plus New Schools And Hospitals.

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) July 18, 2016

2.

PM to consider putting Andrea Leadsom in charge of Trident, as she is an expert in offshore assets.

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) July 18, 2016

3.

Here's an idea- Let's scrap trident but PRETEND we've still got it. Then we have a deterrent AND 23 billion pounds to spend.

— Tim Vine (@RealTimVine) July 18, 2016

4.

We could scrap Trident and pay all its former workers a million quid a year to hand out puppies and chocolate and still save money.

— Angry Scotland (@AngryScotland) July 18, 2016

And thanks to this very long Guardian article for reminded us of the genius of Yes Minister

Sir Humphrey [scandalised] : With Trident we could obliterate the whole of eastern Europe.

Hacker: I don’t want to obliterate the whole of eastern Europe.

Sir Humphrey: But it’s a deterrent.

Hacker: It’s a bluff. I probably wouldn’t use it.

Sir Humphrey: Yes, but they don’t know that you probably wouldn’t.

Hacker: They probably do.

Sir Humphrey: Yes, they probably know that you probably wouldn’t. But they can’t certainly know.

Hacker: They probably certainly know that I probably wouldn’t.

Sir Humphrey: Yes, but even though they probably certainly know that you probably wouldn’t, they don’t certainly know that, although you probably wouldn’t, there is no probability that you certainly would.

Hacker: What?

But we’ll leave the final word to @Mangaminx who writes,”I wonder why the Trident stuff is news, we are quite obviously going to renew our nukes because most politicians want us too.”