People have been sharing the best lies they’ve ever told and – no lie – they’re awesome
17.
Went to Australia and school mates asked if I’d seen Kylie and Jason. Initially said no, but got asked a lot and eventually said yes. Got called out on it because Kylie had been on Top of the Pops. I sneeringly retorted that it’s not filmed live, duh, and achieved lying mastery.
— Sarion Bowers (@SarionBowers) June 6, 2018
18.
I’m from the Isle of Man. In my first year at uni in Scotland (2008) I told everyone I’d be a bit slow contacting them on Facebook over the holidays as there was only one computer with the internet on the island, which was booked out months in advance
— Amanda Litherland (@theamandabird) June 6, 2018
19.
Somebody I know told American tourists that Irish dancing was invented when Irish people had parties but didn’t want the British soldiers to look through the window and see them partying.
— Christopher McKeown (@IrwinsFreeKick) June 6, 2018
20.
For far too long, I thought that the Sound of Music ended after the song “So Long Farewell” because as a child my mum changed channel to make me to go bed early.
— Adam Murphy (@AdMMMM) June 6, 2018
21.
When my Mum was a child, my Grandpa told her that the smell of manure was good for you. The lie lasted so long that when *I* was a child my Mum would tell us to “take a deep breath” whilst driving through shit-sodden farmland.
— Chris (@crsbrnsLFC) June 6, 2018
22.
I tell Americans that Lady Gaga can’t use the title “Lady” in the UK because it has a specific legal status. She has to call herself “Mrs Gaga”.
— vints vorn (@headbandmike) June 6, 2018
23.
Not me but a mate used to tell people that Roni Size got his big break by being the bloke who said ‘TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO’ on No Limits by 2Unlimited. She got the perfect payoff when someone repeated the lie back to her as fact.
— Nick Miller (@NickMiller79) June 6, 2018
24.
I once convinced my 8yo brother that he didn’t exist. Not only that, but that I was an only child and in fact all 4 of my younger siblings were figments of my lonely imagination. Never seen multiple existential crisises in real time like that.
— Amy Colgan (@AmyTao297) June 6, 2018
25.
when my sister was on her J1 in California she told everyone who worked with her in ta beachside sandwich shop that leprechauns were always the presidents of Ireland as they came from the oldest families and used pictures of Michael D for illustrative purposes.
— Kate McEvoy (@ImKateMc) June 6, 2018
26.
I have a large round scar on my shin which I often tell people is from the compound fracture I suffered back when I used to do Thai kickboxing. It was actually caused by a burn from a hot water bottle.
— Fintan O’Toolbox (@FintanOToolbox) June 6, 2018
27.
My Dad left school at 16, then claimed to have a degree for the rest of his life. His wife of 18 years, children and colleagues only found out at his funeral.
— Tom Roberts (@TPGRoberts) June 6, 2018
28.
Sufjan Stevens is Cat Stevens son
— Andy Jones (@halfmadeup) June 6, 2018
29.
Shit, just remembered another one. When I moved to Dublin, I habitually, reflexively told people that as a child I had, in my youth, been several times awarded for having the softest hair In Derry for my age.
I subsequently discovered @Tron_athon and many others believed me.
— Seamas It Ever Was (@shockproofbeats) June 6, 2018
30.
He also told me when I was a kid he couldn’t bring me to see the Christmas lights being turned on by the red power ranger because he was in fact the red power ranger. Told everyone in school.
— Chris Hanna (@OneKnownMusic) June 6, 2018
31.
My Granda had my ma, auntie and uncle CONVINCED he kept an elephant in his shed for several years and it needed special care. Just so they wouldn’t go in and fuck about.
— Chris Hanna (@OneKnownMusic) June 6, 2018
32.
My dad has a prosthetic limb. We’re from Northern Ireland. Let me tell you that you WILL bring a room to a standstill if you imply for even a second that he got it in that EXCITING way that nordies sometimes lose limbs. (He actually lost it to diabetes).
— Seamas It Ever Was (@shockproofbeats) June 6, 2018
To conclude …
You could say anything before the internet. Anything at all.
— Louise Bruton (@luberachi) June 6, 2018