People are sharing the ‘least plausible stories about them that are true’ and here are the 35 best

Oonagh Keating. Updated June 26th, 2018

17.

i once ate a gallery art piece worth $2000 https://t.co/roTAt825FL

— Ghould (@christofborg) June 26, 2018

18.

I once spent an evening with a bunch of Libyan guys watching Sean Paul music videos in the private cinema of Gaddafi's son's former mansion while dressed as a nurse, and no I will not be providing any further context https://t.co/PXbRMN5SBh

— Marie Le Conte (@youngvulgarian) June 25, 2018

19.

https://twitter.com/alexisthenedd/status/1011352883080630273

20.

I am sometimes kept awake by penguins having sex under the floor beneath my bed. https://t.co/OFHEFLKor9

— Anna Sutherland (@annaksutherland) June 25, 2018

21.

I’ve married my wife four times. One of the times involved smuggling thousands in cash overseas, killing a goat, then eating its liver. https://t.co/B6o3EoD3gg

— Scott Hanselman 🌮 (@shanselman) June 25, 2018

22.

I won “a date with Tom Cruise” writing contest. A one on one interview during the War of the Worlds press tour. Totally forgot about it and missed the email with the meet-up details at UCLA. So I stood up Tom Cruise. https://t.co/olCsegu3A4

— Jimmy George (@JimmyRGeorge) June 26, 2018

23.

Either: 1. I was invited to the Paris Ritz hotel on the night Diana died or 2. I was abducted by drug smugglers in Morocco. https://t.co/HyNjVS1T2t

— Jane Merrick (@janemerrick23) June 25, 2018

24.

https://twitter.com/j_christopher_a/status/1011361768877195264

25.

https://twitter.com/underthenettle/status/1011360629167443971

26.

When I was at 6th Form, I met Suede on my lunch break and took them on a guided tour of Poole High Street. They were too cool to take the shortcut through Marks and Spencer’s and walked all the way through the Dolphin Centre with me. https://t.co/JCYLxK78Va

— Eddie Argos (@EddieArgos) June 25, 2018

27.

I exited a walmart in 1999 when Peter Mayhew (aka Chewbacca) walked in. I turned around, stalked him for a bit, then left. Nobody believed me. A year later I met him at a signing and he remembered me, said I was the weird kid that followed him. https://t.co/kPI0SI5zar

— PhantoMantis (@PhantoMantis) June 25, 2018

28.

I performed at Tiffany Trump's 2nd bday party in the Trump Tower penthouse suite. I sang "I'm a little teapot" & other favorites. I was maybe the only subcontractor Trump paid in full. $100 cash. I was a kid but I knew the guy had a black hole where his soul was supposed to be. https://t.co/bzXt1k6SF1

— Eden Riegel (@edenriegel) June 25, 2018

29.

https://twitter.com/martinoxon/status/1011395112528588800

30.

https://twitter.com/JenKatWrites/status/1011276467848826880

31.

https://twitter.com/bjcolangelo/status/1011268450256347136

32.

While I'm sitting in the ER with an anterior shoulder dislocation and a doctor is explaining to a group of students and nurses how complicated it will be to put back in place, there is an audible *pop*. The sedative had relaxed my tendons enough that it went back in on its own. https://t.co/6BeaMOPJBF

— Ciaran Conliffe (@shinyemptyhead) June 25, 2018

33.

Donald trump once told me, to my face, not to lean on his building. https://t.co/rOJlJDS7k5

— Matt "Stick to Cars" Farah (@TheSmokingTire) June 25, 2018

34.

https://twitter.com/pullovergirl/status/1011303773132771328

35.

https://twitter.com/arawnsley/status/1011049779311366144

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