Twenty-five things that had us laughing out loud this week
13.
Dennis Quaidle Snatcher https://t.co/l2t6LwXmE9
— Sam (@sam_bambs) October 21, 2019
14.
The four stages of a day off:
1. I will do so much stuff
2. Later I'll do lots of stuff
3. Eventually, I'll do some stuff
4. Oh no.— Little Miss Badass (@littlemzbadass) October 19, 2019
15.
Me: “What are wine cellars for, man from Newcastle?”
Him: pic.twitter.com/jiVoRDj7rM
— Lukas Kirkby (@LukasKirkby) October 22, 2019
16.
Since I got a dog, every time I go up the park I have to take those little shit bags with me. Although I think once the novelty has worn off they’ll go back to playing their video games.
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) October 19, 2019
17.
Trickle down economics reminds me of trying to shower with the water that splashes off some big, rich asshole.
— Jackie 🎈 (@jackiembouvier) October 23, 2019
18.
"Finally, a woman who shits books and…I'm still not happy!" https://t.co/cnMP2myGp9
— Reginald D Hunter (@reginalddhunter) October 24, 2019
19.
I don’t know what happens in this small fridge but am terrified pic.twitter.com/VM1P56wwF5
— Janey Godley (@JaneyGodley) October 23, 2019
20.
I want my house to be tidy enough that if someone unexpectedly stops by, it doesn't look like we're seven hours in to battling a bear that broke in.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) October 23, 2019
21.
me: i don't wanna have kids yet because i wanna stay WILD and FREE
me at 7pm every night: if i start an episode of great british bake off now, i can be asleep by 8
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) October 23, 2019
22.
[Spelling committee]
‘So we’re agreed. A medium-sized sailing boat: y-o-t, yot. What do you think, guy on fucking mushrooms?’
— Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) October 24, 2019
23.
Sorry I’m a day late, I had to use a Premier Inn hairdryer
— Lee-Ann (@leeanngalway) October 25, 2019
24.
I bet British people be having sex like:
Mmm yes splendid, ah indeed. Scrumptious carry on, good heavens I’m arriving.— Mⓐⓖⓘⓒⓐⓛ Tⓡⓞⓤⓑⓛⓔ (@MagicalTrouble) October 24, 2019
25.
THE 17TH CENTURY IS THE 1600'S.
THE 18TH CENTURY IS THE 1700'S.
THE 19TH CENTURY IS THE 1800'S.
THE 20TH CENTURY IS THE 1900'S.
THE 21ST CENTURY SO FAR HAS BEEN THE 1800'S, BUT THAT'S NOT A NUMERICAL CONFUSION, MORE OF A CULTURAL THING THAT WE'RE ACTUALLY SORT OF UPSET ABOUT.
— Boozy Badger (@BoozyBadger) October 23, 2019
Source: Twitter Image: Twitter screengrab