People are describing their roles via “greatest hits” – 28 absolute bangers

15.

Hi, I'm an adult support worker. You may remember me from such hits as "No hitting please" "He's broken my nose" "I think that's enough toilet roll in the toilet now" "I'm not hurting him, I'm stopping him from hurting you, madam" and "It's your poo, you clean it off the window". https://t.co/xBaJCH8ZFE

— Col (@Bigshirtlesscol) March 4, 2020

16.

Hi, I’m a social media manager. You might know me from my greatest hits "That's too many hashtags for a tweet." "That won't work for IG stories." And the chart-topping “I can't *just* make things go viral." https://t.co/TZGMYiP7am

— Julian Gamboa ➡️ #ChallengerBrands (@JulianGumbo) February 29, 2020

17.

Hi, I'm a trauma surgeon.

You may know me from my hits “Yes, I am a Surgeon” “No, really, I am a Surgeon,” and the chart-topping “Let me introduce myself Again (I am not your nurse, although yes your nurse is fabulous).” https://t.co/BnVesuKbAr

— Jamie Coleman (@JJcolemanMD) March 2, 2020

18.

Hi, I'm a TV journalist. You may know me from my hits "we can't force people who don't want to talk to come on TV", "we need pictures to run that story", and the chart-topping "let's get a dog in the studio" https://t.co/KlWgal5a7D

— Charlie Haynes (@charliehtweets) March 2, 2020

19.

Hi, I’m a college student. You might know me from my greatest hits “when are we going out?” or “I skipped my 9am” And the chart-topping “shit was that due today” https://t.co/Xu2z2CG3pn

— Paul Meyere Da Silveira (@paulmeyere) February 29, 2020

20.

Hi, I’m a freelance illustrator. You might know me from my greatest hits “Why the fuck can I not get this leg right?!,” “, Are my rates too high or am I just a shitty artist? ,” and “No I will not “doodle you something for free” Karen!!” https://t.co/u8VU3XI75h

— 🌻Kalahira🌻 (@Lady_Distort) March 3, 2020

21.

Hi, I'm a preschool teacher. You might know my songs "Sit on your bottoms" "we don't snatch" "use your kind hands" and "please don't lick the wall" https://t.co/cpqfsy4vGG

— Applin Galar (@FionaApple314) March 2, 2020

22.

Hi; I'm a disabled person. You may know me from my hits "No, Stephen Hawking's not my Dad," "What do you mean you don't have a wheelchair ramp?" and the chart-topping "Yes, I can have sex, I just don't want to sleep with you" https://t.co/wswUBtWxYW

— Alex Taylor (@Tayloredword) March 2, 2020

23.

hi, I’m a poet, you might know me from my hits “wow look at the moon” “I’m as sad as the bottom of the ocean floor” and “this line is a metaphor for my father’s anger and my trust issues” https://t.co/G0HounUccu

— Elly Belle 🔮🍊🌹 (@literElly) February 29, 2020

24.

Hi, I’m an editor. You might know me from my hits “it will be better if we cut this paragraph,” “send me your draft immediately so I can take forever to get to it,” and the platinum classic “I swear to you that’s not as clever as you think it is.” https://t.co/GN9YgS4jaZ

— Spencer A. Klavan, Gay Mafia Don (@SpencerKlavan) February 29, 2020

25.

Hi, I’m a dad. You might know me from my greatest hits “go ask your mother”, “when I was your age…”, “don’t make me stop this car”, and the chart-topping "hi Hungry, I'm Dad" https://t.co/HzUOUJSRNS

— Vlad Magdalin (@callmevlad) February 29, 2020

26.

Hi, I’m a line cook. You might know me from my hits “Behind You”, “Get This Fucking Food Out The Window”, and the chart-topping “Needs More Salt (Heard Remix)”. https://t.co/Sk5tqeHfQm

— Shy Richard (@bradtotheb0ne) March 2, 2020

27.

Hi, I’m a lawyer. You might know me from my hits “Please don’t do that,” “You cannot do that,” and the chart-topping, “Were you listening when I asked you not to do that? Now we have a serious problem.” https://t.co/PUs5t1eGyP

— Daniel A. Horwitz (@Scot_Blog) March 1, 2020

28.

Hi, I'm a historian. You might know me from my hits, "It's always more complicated than that," "People in the past weren't stupider, meaner, or more innocent than us," and "Yes, that applies to the Inquisition too." https://t.co/Y1lGoM6YYx

— Dr Emily Michelson (@Emily_Michelson) March 1, 2020

Finally, a reminder that it isn’t only humans that have greatest hits.

Hi, I'm a cat. You might know me from my hits:
Clawing up the couch
Ignoring you until I'm hungry and then pretending you mean the world to me
Sleeping all day and then waking you up in the middle of the night knocking over dishes you just washed before bed https://t.co/fQTO9324v4

— 💥🐟🌮 🧂 (@CrunchyFishTaco) March 1, 2020

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People are sharing the jobs they wanted when they were 5 and it’s an innocent delight

Source Jules Glegg Image @bethbapchurch on Unsplash