Top 10 funny takes on how we’re all coping with the pandemic
For some people, lockdown has loosened considerably. They can go to zoos, visit someone else in their home and stay over, send their children to school, go to *checks notes* drive-in movies …
Anyway, here’s what funny people have had to say about it all.
1. We’re running out of time to live up to our quarantine resolutions
When lockdown started I vowed to read more classic novels – instead, I’ve ended up on Candy Crush level 180 -which this morning tells me,
‘Congratulations! You’ve reached pudding planet ‘
Never a truer word was spoken 🙄— Kate Robbins (@KateRobbins) June 9, 2020
2. The rules don’t always make sense
Can’t go and stay with the Thorps who are my parents but can go to sodding Thorpe park https://t.co/ecW2iBUjxb
— Liam Thorp (@LiamThorpECHO) June 9, 2020
3. And they can be a little complicated
New lockdown rules for England:
You can hunt Neil Buchanan from Art Attack but not Pat Sharp from Funhouse.
Mice can use cats as horses.
You can stay in a bungalow but only if it's haunted & you're the same height as Kylie Minogue.
Indoors is outdoors on Shrove Tuesday.— joe heenan (@joeheenan) June 11, 2020
4. We’re questioning what preparations our leaders are actually making
This is genuinely how I envisage what the meetings look like prior to each Daily Briefing… pic.twitter.com/2yiz6LtKQs
— Hannah O'Hanrahahanrahan (@buntyhoven) June 10, 2020
5. We can go outside, but do we want to?
Great that we’re allowed barbecues now… pic.twitter.com/OdPKPOYZku
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) June 6, 2020
6. There may be some upsides to the coronavirus guidelines
So, if they opened the cinemas you'd have to leave two seats between each viewer meaning they couldn't 'whisper' to each other? And facemasks would mean they wouldn't be able to eat huge tubs of popcorn through the film?
Not seeing a downside.
— Lisa 'Unladylike' Holdsworth (@WorksWithWords) June 10, 2020
7. The report card is going to say “Could try harder”
Old enough to remember when "sick man of Europe" was a metaphor. https://t.co/izZPcSgfMm
— Rafael Behr (@rafaelbehr) June 10, 2020
8. What happens if a straw man gets struck by lightning?
are they more likely to bring lightning home from school and accidentally kill their grandad with it though? https://t.co/fyCysSr6mN
— Robyn Vinter (@RobynVinter) June 10, 2020
9. We’re going to be great at those ‘guess the celebrity from their eyes’ pub quiz rounds
I’ve been going outside more and I gotta say it’s good to see some familiar half-faces again.
— Lloyd Rang (@lloydrang) June 10, 2020
10. Not all heroes wear capes – but they do wear masks
Now I be like “oh fuck i forgot my mask” like im spiderman or something
— Neal Owusu (@neal_thatdude) June 9, 2020
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Image @vincent_keiman_nl on Unsplash, Very British Problems