‘What’s the weirdest thing a guest has done at your house?’ – 21 people who should never darken anyone’s door again

In theory, having people over to hang out should be a fun and sociable thing to do. And largely it is, until someone does something so strange or unpleasant that you vow to be a hermit for the rest of your life.

Over on the AskUK subreddit, Equivalent_Half883 posted this:

‘What are some of weirdest/gross things a guest has done at your house? For me someone left nail clippings in the bathroom.’

Now that’s grim. But it could have been an awful lot grimmer, as the replies showed…

1.

‘One of my mates shit himself pretty severely while commuting to work once. My house was pretty close, so after a panicked phone call I let him come over and use my shower, and borrow a spare change of clothes. Pretty gross but he cleaned up the shower after himself and I’d do it again for a friend in a time of need.’
–Pleasant-Strike7467

2.

‘Loudly blew their nose in the shower, and left the resulting patina on the glass to dry.’
–Hopeful_chap

3.

‘While helping me cook my ex father in law would scratch his scalp with a fork and then continue to use it to prepare the food.’
–Ok_Wrap5233

4.

‘Used my lovely bath puff and saturated it with horrible wolfy pubes.’
–GeggingIn

5.

‘Wasn’t gross but someone stuck all the dry spaghetti in the butter so it looked like a pale hedgehog, definitely a weird thing to do.’
–Soggywallet94

6.

‘Pulled his socks off to better scratch at the dry, broken skin and inflamed rash upon his feet, like a vile and nightmarish pastry-chef dusting my floor and sofa as though it were some sort of diseased sponge cake.’
–hokkuhokku

7.

‘Puked down the side of a bed then hid it by covering it with clothes.’
–Froggman_Tom

8.

‘Tradesman working in my flat randomly invited a neighbour in to have a look at something, without asking me. I’ve barely met the neighbour. Very weird to hear someone random in my flat talking.’
–PurchaseDry9350

9.

‘Not at my house (so perhaps not relevant) but I once went to someone else’s house and halfway through eating dinner they proceeded to plonk their baby down on the dinner table and change a shitty nappy.’
–Throwaway6765656

10.

‘Guy I was in the navy with stayed at my house one night, did a shit so big it clogged the toilet, picked it out the toilet and threw it out the window, landed on the windscreen of his own car he parked in the driveway.’
–fozzie1984

11.

‘House party back when I was 17, someone soaked my friends dad’s dressing gown with water and put it in the freezer. We discovered it the next day and it was literally a brick.’
–Lower-Ad-2082

12.

‘I once had a friend leave a used sanitary towel stuck to the outside of our bathroom bin. Eeeee.’
–WaggingTheWorld