Trick or Treat Survival Guide

Trick or Treat: Hundreds of thousands of sugar-crazed gremlins prowling the streets demanding free stuff – is it the riots all over again? No! It’s Halloween!

This year, however, with a recession looming and austerity measures tightening around the nation’s throat, you might not want to splash out on confectionery – but nor do you want your tyres slashed or your pets strung up. Have no fear! All it requires is a little bit of preparation. Here are 10 credit crunch ideas for when the little monsters come knocking.

1. Handover the business card of someone you hate. Say ‘call me in the morning I’d prefer to give you all some money’.

2. Dishwasher pellets – ‘a Swedish delicacy – suck don’t chew’

3. Squeeze ketchup into some socks, add twigs and freeze – tah dah.. ‘Vampire Callipos’

4. That Magic Tree air freshener in the car – coat in glue and scatter with sugar – ’haunted forest lolly’

5. Oxo cubes – place on flat of palm -‘right – who wants a giant cola cube?’

6. Handful of cornflakes rolled in Marmite – ‘it’s Mexican chocolate – tastes a bit different’

7. Lemsip and Vim tipped into a piece of tin foil – hey presto – Space Dust!

8. A free newspaper CD – cross out The Railway Children (or whatever it is) and stencil… Bangin’ Grime Hitz

9. A black bin liner with two eye holes cut in it (hipster ghost outfit).

10. Recycle a Tommy Copper classic – take out your wallet. Make it look like you are taking out a note, when actually it’s a teabag. Slip it into their top pocket, pat it and say ‘have a drink on me’.