ITV to open Midsomer Murders safari park
TV News: ITV has announced plans to open a Midsomer Murders themed safari park, where visitors can drive around and see rural folk killing each other, all from the safety and comfort of their cars.
“Midsomer Murder Safari will be an incredibly accurate recreation of the Midsomer universe,” said a spokesman for ITV.
“There will be a wide variety of murders to witness, from straightforward deaths by pitchfork or shotgun, to far more whimsical killings – involving a wheel of cheese, or getting stabbed in back with an ornate dagger at a cricket match.”
ITV say the 6,000 acre park will be split up into selected villages from the county of Midsomer, including Midsomer Abbas, Midsomer-in-the-Marsh, Midsomer Pastures and Midsomer Gift Shop.
The park promises to feature authentic animatronic recreations of popular cast members both past and present, while the people getting brutally murdered will be real-life locals, desperate for a job.
“Just remember to keep your car windows up all the time!” added the ITV spokesman. “Because otherwise you’ll get sprayed with blood.”
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