Our 25 favourite jokes of the week
This week has been brought to you by the uncertainty of lip-reading, getting up at four in the morning to be successful, and drones shutting down Gatwick. To take your mind off all that, let’s look back at the funniest jokes we saw on Twitter in between all the trolling and cat pictures.
1.
2.
https://twitter.com/OFalafel/status/1075663389140099072
3.
Why does Pepsi never advertise using its official UK slogan as used by all British pub landlords?
"It's Pepsi. Is that alright?"— ianzpotter everywhere else (@ianzpotter) December 19, 2018
4.
Toblerone's full name is actually 'Tobias Le Rone'.
— cluedont (@cluedont) December 17, 2018
5.
One of my sexual fantasies is to be first in a long queue of men pushed over by a dominotrix.
— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) December 17, 2018
6.
Technically, peanuts are arachnids, not insects
— the federalist stinks!!!! (@rajandelman) December 17, 2018
7.
When magicians get drunk do they get sleightly out of hand?
— Dr Lucy Rogers FREng (@DrLucyRogers) December 18, 2018
8.
https://twitter.com/joedeal_/status/1074955072805761024
9.
the worst part of Love Actually is when he gives Emma Thompson who has clearly been a fan of Joni Mitchell for at least 20 years Both Sides Now as if she would not already own that record
— salt (@bigsadjuice) December 17, 2018
10.
https://twitter.com/DaftLimmy/status/1075355246166188032
11.
https://twitter.com/mojorisen531/status/1075003367313891328
12.
Very impressed with the range of alarms to wake up to on my new phone. pic.twitter.com/aiufTF5oHJ
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) December 19, 2018