Get into the Edinburgh Fringe groove with these 15 jokes
The Edinburgh Fringe Festival starts today, as you will have noticed from the mixture of excitement, dread and realisation of impending bankruptcy coming from the actual comedians on Twitter, as opposed to those who just think they’re comedians. We thought we’d see if any of them had any funny to spare for us, and we were very happy to see that they did.
1.
We found a pub in Edinburgh that does Butter Beer and Salted Caramel White Russians and has Mega Drive and I am sorry to say thagt tshe sjow ka vannecells becauDe slmeone alreadh wkon frknhws
— Bec Hill (Be Chill) (@bechillcomedian) July 30, 2019
2.
Pro Tip: If you find yourself performing to 2 people pretend they're a wealthy couple who have rented you out for a private show #EdFringe #MakeYourFringe
— Simon Caine [at the #EdFringe] (@thismademecool) July 30, 2019
3.
Me arriving at #edfringe for my first show pic.twitter.com/7187Tdi7z0
— James McNicholas (@jamesmcnicholas) July 30, 2019
4.
Johnson getting booed worse than my 2013 Edinburgh Fringe show
— Nish Kumar (@MrNishKumar) July 30, 2019
5.
Good luck if you’re sharing an Edinburgh flat with me this year lol!!!!!! 😝🤤😊 pic.twitter.com/Nksm7Hrr3t
— Lou Sanders (@LouSanders) July 30, 2019
6.
To all of my friends starting their Edinburgh Fringe runs today, may you have a wonderful time, your shows be full of people loving what you do, and your reviews be glowing.
To all my enemies doing the fringe, may your show be misunderstood by a student working for Three Weeks.
— Jim Smallman (@jimsmallman) July 31, 2019
7.
I see that the Edinburgh restaurant I’ve had a grudge against for 15 years (because they were rude to my parents) has now closed. Cross me at your peril!
— Lucy Porter (@lucyportercomic) July 30, 2019
8.
Everyone in Edinburgh talks about awards and reviews, but I am ridiculously pleased to have my poster in my two favourite takeaways.
— I, Tom Mayhew (@TomMayhew) July 31, 2019
9.
I hope everyone who's doing stuff at the Fringe has a cracking run, except for people who arrive and immediately tweet something like 'Edinburgh…I am in you.' I hope those people have a shiter of a month. It's a skin-crawling cliche and they should be ashamed of themselves.
— The Wee Man (@ThatWeeMan) July 29, 2019
10.
Just heard a dad angrily say “what makes you special to anyone else? What makes you special? Nothing. You’re exactly the same as everyone else” to his young daughter. Which I’m certain won’t be the harshest review I’ll hear this month.
— Ignacio Lopez is at #EdFringe 2019 Book Now (@comedylopez) July 31, 2019
11.
#EdFringe as a producer is turning on your phone after a show to find 52 emails, 41 of which are comp or industry requests, 7 are invoices, 1 is the landlord telling you not to cut any more keys, & 3 are delivery notifications for reprinted flyers which are now back at the depot
— Ellie Keel (@elliekeel1) July 31, 2019
12.
Huge luck to all my beloved & talented pals taking shows to Edinburgh. I want you to know from the bottom of my heart that if your show isn’t a massive sold out success, I will no longer like you, respect you, or speak to you. All my love! #Edinburgh #Fringe #edfringe
— Brona C. Titley (@bronactitley) July 28, 2019
13.
hey guys. this photo was taken just 2 years ago. I was mopping floors while chasing my comedy dreams. I was cruelly never allowed a full size bucket 😔 please buy tickets to my Edinburgh show so I don’t have to don my cardigan & return to mopping floors with my tiny tiny bucket😥 pic.twitter.com/nX8pkiLVTr
— Lauren Pattison (@laurenpattison) July 30, 2019
14.
I love the bit before the Fringe starts properly! It's like Christmas Eve! Except instead of giving you gifts, Santa is about to come and take everything from you!
— Ben Pope (@BenWPope) July 31, 2019
15.
these really are the four types of people who review Edinburgh Fringe shows pic.twitter.com/hk3Qz0F5Ie
— Jack Rooke Pro 15" (@jackrooke) August 1, 2019
This revelation by @EsylltMair is a perfect illustration of how most stand-up comedians afford food – that and their three other jobs.
My parents have given me pocket money for #EdFringe. And even though it was handed to me directly, my mother has written my name and “Edinburgh” in brackets. I’m 38. pic.twitter.com/6Ps1SgSewu
— Esyllt Sears (@EsylltMair) July 29, 2019
Get out and support live comedy, if you can.