20 funny Easter treats – no hunting required
It’s Easter, but not as we know it. Whether that means miracles, chocolate eggs or absolutely nothing to you, we can all enjoy these jokes on the topic.
Happy Easter!
1.
me: "we commemorate the day you died every year"
jesus: "thats nice, what's the day called?"
me:
jesus:
me:
jesus: "keith?"
me: "bad friday"— k e i t h (@KeetPotato) March 24, 2016
2.
Jesus is gonna get such a shock this week when he comes out of that desert ready to party.
— Aisling Bea (@WeeMissBea) April 7, 2020
3.
Fair play to the kid, Jesus, for rising from the dead. For me, that’s a comeback bettered only by my City lads beating Spurs from 3-0 down at half-time in our 2004 FA Cup replay. Am I comparing Jon Macken to the son of God? Look, that’s for others to say.
— Kevin Keegan (@GalacticKeegan) April 12, 2020
4.
If you’re wondering what to do about Easter, ask yourself "What would Jesus do?" and definitely don’t do that.
— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) April 8, 2020
5.
ME: there’s a full moon this Easter, you know what that means
THEM:
ME:
THEM: werewolf Jesus?
ME: *cocking shotgun* werewolf Jesus
— Eternal Samnation (@portmanteauface) March 1, 2020
6.
The Rabbit Delusion pic.twitter.com/Iei4rsocFl
— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) April 5, 2020
7.
As we head into the easter long weekend it's a good time to remember that Jesus was a shoeless hippy that hated banks and hung out with prostitutes and he definitely would have taken a sledgehammer to the palace the Pope lives in.
— (@chaser) April 9, 2020
8.
Let us remember the true meaning of Easter. Jesus getting trapped in a giant chocolate egg by Satan, and eating his way out 3 days later.
— Dai Lama (@WelshDalaiLama) April 12, 2020
9.
Not suggesting that my 10yo son hasn’t been paying attention to his religious education, but he just referred to Jesus as “muggle-born”.
— Andrew R (@ExcelPope) April 11, 2020
10.
There is no greater symbol of willpower and restraint than the Easter egg that has been in my kitchen for a month. Every time I see it I nod respectfully, like I’m walking past a prisoner on death row whose final appeal has failed.
— Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) April 10, 2020
