5 pitch perfect responses to Bryan Adam’s ‘bat-eating, virus making’ Covid-19 rant

John Plunkett. Updated May 12th, 2020

Spare a thought, if you will, in the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic for poor little Bryan Adams, who’s had to cancel a run of shows at the Royal Albert Hall because everyone’s busy trying to stop people dying.

Bryan’s not happy, not happy at all, and we know this because he had a rant about it on Instagram.

Specifically, he took aim at the ‘bat eating, wet market animal selling, virus making greedy bastards’ he holds responsible.

View this post on Instagram

CUTS LIKE A KNIFE. A song by me. Tonight was supposed to be the beginning of a tenancy of gigs at the @royalalberthall, but thanks to some fucking bat eating, wet market animal selling, virus making greedy bastards, the whole world is now on hold, not to mention the thousands that have suffered or died from this virus. My message to them other than “thanks a fucking lot” is go vegan. To all the people missing out on our shows, I wish I could be there more than you know. It’s been great hanging out in isolation with my children and family, but I miss my other family, my band, my crew and my fans. Take care of yourselves and hope we can get the show on the road again soon. I’ll be performing a snippet from each album we were supposed to perform for the next few days. X❤️ #songsfromisolation #covid_19 #banwetmarkets #selfisolation #bryanadamscutslikeaknife #govegan🌱

A post shared by Bryan Adams (@bryanadams) on May 11, 2020 at 8:45am PDT

Our favourite part is the ‘not to mention’ bit before he remembers to mention all the people who have died.

‘Tonight was supposed to be the beginning of a tenancy of gigs at the @royalalberthall, but thanks to some fucking bat eating, wet market animal selling, virus making greedy bastards, the whole world is now on hold, not to mention the thousands that have suffered or died from this virus. My message to them other than ‘thanks a fucking lot’ is go vegan.’

Anyway, there were lots of entirely on-point replies and we reckon these ones are up there with the best.

BRYAN ADAMS: 🎶 wrote my first real racist tweet / my career already in decline / blaming the Chinese for my lack of income / was the summer of COVID one-nine 🎶 pic.twitter.com/gvy9k4XlEc

— bornmiserable.bsky.social (@bornmiserable) May 12, 2020

anybody have ‘bryan adams racist meltdown’ in the 2020-is-a-hot-mess pool pic.twitter.com/RiF5Ca1ErC

— rax ‘leads with her crotch’ king (@RaxKingIsDead) May 12, 2020

I’ve forgotten which one is Bryan Adams and which one is Ryan Adams and I’m not going to learn it again

— pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) May 12, 2020

So what you're saying, if I understand correctly, is that all of this has really inconvenienced Bryan Adams?

Well, I'm sure all the sick and dying common folks around the world will sympathise with you, for your loss.

The struggle is real.

For Bryan Adams.

— Barney Panofsky's Best Intentions (@mynamesnotgordy) May 12, 2020

I am so mad at Bryan Adams for his racist dumb comment that I went in my attic, found an old pair of Bugle Boy jeans from 1985, got his cassette from a pocket, and threw it out.

— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) May 12, 2020

Oh, and this!

This has actually improved China's human rights record. pic.twitter.com/7ywHBJHYya

— Louis Barfe (@AlanKelloggs) May 12, 2020

Still, he’s got one fan though.

https://twitter.com/KTHopkins/status/1260086881208930304?s=20

We’re sure she’s got all his records.