The 25 funniest tweets of the week
13.
commas are important https://t.co/qaUbKF2Y2P
— Dusty (@DustinGiebel) August 20, 2020
14.
Ladies, if he:
– knows everything
– maintains a certain level of distance
– lacks personalityHe's not your man, he's a third-person omniscient narrator.
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) August 17, 2020
15.
999: what’s the emergency?
Me: someone on Facebook just said there’s 19 Mondays left till Christmas— Rachael (@RachaelvsWorld) August 17, 2020
16.
This review is in code right?? pic.twitter.com/psxXmCZaNG
— The Loremen Podcast (@LoremenPod) August 16, 2020
17.
My phone listening to me chatting shit all day and then trying to figure out what targeted adverts to show me on Instagram pic.twitter.com/uFJUfRvvRW
— Tom Usher (@tom_usher_) August 18, 2020
18.
Yoga instructor: now breath in, and open your third eye…
Me: *spreads buttcheeks*
— Sara Wren (@sarawrencomedy) August 18, 2020
19.
They said, "Don't eat food your grandparents wouldn't recognise." So I've given up salad.
— Alasdair Beckett-King (@MisterABK) August 18, 2020
20.
why do crickets always go to really bad stand up comedy
— tom (@pilau) August 17, 2020
21.
"Now turn your head, and cough" pic.twitter.com/KDQD1SrL8q
— Holly Brockwell (@holly) August 20, 2020
22.
Jesus would've been better turning water into J20 coz the mark up's much higher on soft drinks.
— Sam Whyte (@SamWhyte) August 20, 2020
23.
Me: When will these ungrateful houseguests leave.
Wife: First off, the kids therapist has repeatedly asked you not to call them that.
— 🧙♂️Nostradumbass🧙♂️ (@The_Albinoshrek) August 20, 2020
24.
When we stopped using imperial measurements I think we really shot oursleves in the 0.3 metres.
— Daveastated (@Daveastated) August 20, 2020
25.
They’ll blame anything but Prince Andrew won’t they pic.twitter.com/jDEq7po6k4
— Katie Storey (@KEStorey) August 20, 2020
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Our 25 favourite funny tweets from this week
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