Village people (not them) have been sharing the most ridiculous thing their parish council ever did – 24 moments of unbelievably small-minded pettiness

British villages have a reputation for being quiet, beautiful… and incredibly petty and vindictive over the smallest of issues. Over in the corner of Reddit called AskUK, Wonk_Majik asked:

‘Village dwellers of the UK: What’s the most ridiculous thing that the Parish Council has tried to do/impose on the village?’

And people who reside in those apparently bucolic hamlets had tales to tell of the type of parochial, narrow-minded folk they have to smile at in the local shop.

1.

‘They tried to get a flagpole installed so that they could lower a flag for the death of Prince Phillip. My dad argued (with the support of the vicar) that it would be good so we could fly a rainbow flag during Pride month. For some reason that changed their minds!’
–prjones4

2.

‘Someone in the village had their request for a small extension denied, despite similar extensions being approved in the past. During the whole dispute, one of the councillors accidentally forwarded an email to the person requesting the extension. Turns out it was denied ‘because they’ve only lived in the village for 12 years and haven’t earned the right to an extension yet’.’
–brc981

3.

‘We moved to the village I grew up in when I was 4. Already went to playschool there, only went to the village schools, parents had local businesses and were involved in local activities. I’ve worked in the village, went to local clubs as a teenager, all my friends are there, family still live there.

‘And after 30+ years, I’m still not ‘from the village’.’
–lilylady4789

4.

‘I wasn’t a villager but I was working for a telecoms company. The EMEA president of a global company bought a house in a village which had 2mb ADSL. He obviously wanted to have real internet in his home. He offered to pay for all excess construction (£70k) to run fibre into the village and then they could all have decent internet.

‘This was refused by the parish council because they ‘didn’t want a green box’ in the village. This same village was often depicted in local papers with councillors pulling compo faces because they had shit internet.’
–screwfusdufusrufus

5.

‘Our parish council treat anything that might be of benefit to teenagers as being gang related. Our village used to have a small concreted area near the park with some very basic skate park facilities but they had them all removed because “in cities skate parks are where drugs are sold”.

‘My village has a population of maybe 100. When this was done they were asked to replace the ramps with a basketball hoop and it was flatly declined because of the “demographics” of the people who play basketball.

‘An insight into the mind of old, wealthy, rural white people.’
–knight-under-stars

6.

‘A village near me was considering a bench. One comment made was that there was some worry ‘the lesbians might sit on it’. No idea why that would be a problem.’
–Wildwife

7.

‘They desperately, desperately wanted the BMX track closed down because ‘it was noisy’. A couple of parish councillors would walk their dogs across it at peak times, desperately trying to get knocked over, but unfortunately for them nobody took the bait.

‘Then one day all the kids arrived to find bollards placed in and around the track ‘for safety’ (no idea how that works!). Sure enough, 3 or 4 days later a young kid around 8 or 9 years old hits a bollard and broke his leg and arm.

‘Track closed down and dug out immediately, and since that day the locals have been complaining about roving gangs of BMX/skater kids loitering around & doing tricks in various spots around the village. Then a kid got knocked off her bike by a car, now they’re trying to ban u16’s from skating/cycling in the village.

‘Clowns.’
–Mdl8922

8.

‘I used to live in a quite ‘touristy’ village just north of Leicester. The village magazine was where some villages quietly took out their rage, sometimes justified, often not.

‘But what really opened my eyes was the time that someone made a big fuss about not having a dedicated police officer on the beat, and their evidence for needing one was that they had ‘..seen someone black cycling through the village which I thought was suspicious’.’
–IWishIDidntHave2

9.

‘Formed a committee to investigate the disappearance and potential murder of a lady who, turns out, was just on holiday without her husband. Husband had installed raised flower beds during her holiday. You can see how bored villagers joined the dots.’
–JennyW93

10.

‘They put a picnic bench in the kids play park that has a section missing so a wheelchair user can still use the picnic bench. They put it in an awful grassy/muddy area that was about 20 yards from the concrete path. I’ve never seen anyone use it.’
–wardyms

11.

‘Tried to get a no HGV designation on my village which has three farms within the boundary, all of which load their produce onto HGVs when sold. Unfortunately most on the parish council are retirees who have moved here in the last 10 years – make of that what you will.’
–OkPhilosopher5308

12.

‘My village council wouldn’t allow a junior Parkrun to run round the edge of the playing fields at 9am on a Sunday morning because it might upset the footballers who play later in the day. Entirely coincidentally, several of the councillors are involved in the football teams, or have family members who are.’
–Another_Random_Chap