‘What’s your weirdest private habit that you hope no one ever finds out about?’ – 17 bizarre things people get up to when nobody’s looking

People may look vaguely normal in public. But when they’re home alone, it’s a different story…

Thanks to the research of Dear-Welder-1117, it turns out that when people are by themselves, they get up to all manner of strange behaviours.

Perhaps because they’re hidden behind the anonymity of a screen name, r/AskReddit users were more than willing to answer their question:

‘What’s your weirdest private habit that you hope no one ever finds out about?’

Are these top replies more unusual than your weird habit?

1.

‘Sometimes when I’m having a really hard day I’ll pretend my dishes or my laundry are sentient little creatures who are excited to see me. They also need my help because they’re scared or lost or dirty.

I give them their little baths and tell them that they’re brave and then tuck them back into their homes. They’re very thankful to me and excited to be back in their safe places all clean with their friends.

It helps motivate me to keep my apartment clean when I’m dealing with the apathy of chronic depression.’
-NoMove1288

2.

‘I sing stupid little songs I make up to my fish and cats when I get home. One time I thought my husband wasn’t home yet. Serenaded my darlings… And then heard laughter coming from another room’
-ravynn15

3.

‘Whenever I go to the bathroom I always make silly faces in the mirror while washing my hands and before I leave. Every single time. It’s not often you get to see what you look like with your face all contorted.’
-Fine_Faithlessness67

4.

‘Sometimes I take all the stuff off of my refrigerator and sit on top of it just to look at my home from a different view. It’s quite nice. But I don’t think people will get it if I was caught doing it’
-BeeBopshitbox

5.

‘I like hanging out in the closet, literally. When I was a kid, the closet was my safe space. I’d hide in there to get away from my siblings or my parents or whenever I just needed alone time. There was a small light in there that I could turn on and use to read books under so sometimes I’d spend hours in there.

‘When I went off to college, whenever the closet size would allow for it, I’d try to jerry rig a small study station in there by fitting a small desk and some lighting in there.

‘After I graduated, I would sleep in my apartment’s walk-in closet b/c one of my first jobs was a night shift position and it was the quietest and darkest place I could find to sleep during the day [my bedroom’s blinds didn’t block out enough light and there wasn’t an easy way to add blackout curtains; not to mention the window faced the street so it was pretty noisy while the closet was more interiorly located so it was more muted inside].

‘Even nowadays, our current place has this nook that’s the size of a small walk-in closet and I’ll sometimes bring out my camping gear and just sleep on the floor there. My SO finds it really strange, but it’s just weirdly comforting.’
-chewytime

6.

‘The absolute mind boggling level to which I talk to myself or narrate things out loud, even having full blown conversations about made up scenarios and events that haven’t transpired, all because my imagination runs rampant like a runaway train.’
-SheriffWyattDerp

7.

‘I rock myself to sleep. No rock per se. I do a vibration with my feet until I fall sleep.’
-Apprehensive-Eye2457

8.

‘I sleep with a stuffed teddy bear. My dad gave it to me for Valentine’s Day a year before he passed. I’ve had this bear for almost 26 years. His name is Mr. Velvety

‘Only my husband knows I still sleep with it.’
-Character_Door8954

9.

‘I have two cats, and I have constant ongoing “conversations” with them out loud. Each has his own different voice so that it’s clear who is saying what, and over the years a storyline has developed over time, so there’s pretty deep lore at this point.

‘It’s all just me entertaining myself by saying silly crap in high pitched voices, but taken out of context it sounds like I’m definitely losing my mind. For instance, currently my void is trying to get me to buy him a gun for Xmas, but my tuxedo has strong feelings about gun safety and they’re arguing about whether or not the void is too young to handle this level of responsibility.

‘If anyone walked in on this, I’d need to jump out the window and go live with the squirrels.’
-NopeNopeYupNope