Someone moved to the UK and was baffled by the Brits using inanimate objects as insults – 21 beautifully British barbs

There are so many things to get used to when you emigrate.

There may be a new language, there’ll definitely be new money, different customs and accents, strange food, and on top of all that, there may be a whole other way that people interact – such as the one brought up by SomeEars512 on r/AskUK.

“Do Brits Insult each other as a random object?”

They added –

“Hey everyone,

I just moved to England recently, and someone called me a plant pot… is it normal for Brits to insult people by calling them random objects?

What other strange insults should I be bracing myself for?”

The Brits had instructions for getting the most out of this style of insult.

Like this –

You can put the word “absolute” in front of any noun and it turns into an insult, you absolute elbow.
shushlarzid

The examples flooded in. These were our favourites.

1.

Totally normal, you utter spanner!
ShutUpMorrisseyffs

2.

My personal favourite so far, you absolute lampshade.
Blondeheartedgoddess

3.

Why would we do that? You total doughnut.
LoccyDaBorg

4.

I referred to a colleague as a “custard cream” today.
bleach1969

5.

Who’s this balloon?
confudled_contractor

6.

Sounds like a right sausage!
jamesycakes231

7.

Brace yourself for the comparative insults. “Thick as mince”, “Mad as a box of frogs with party hats on”, “As much use as a chocolate fireguard”. Nothing too bizarre.
TractacusAbsurdicus

8.

“I got called a plant pot!”

Oh cry me a river you utter sewing machine.
Quarkly95

9.

What a wetwipe.
Upbeat-Excitement-46

10.

Only an utter jam jar would ask that.
George_salt

11.

Only if they like you, you complete ping-pong ball.
togtogtog