Elton’s new baby: ‘I got bored with the old one’

Celebrity News: A happy Elton John showed off his new baby yesterday, and revealed that he ‘got rid of the old one’ after ‘he got bored with it.’ Sources close to The Candle In The Wind say Sir Elton just didn’t like it when it was someone else throwing the tantrums, but the superstar singer insists he and partner David Furnish simply decided to ‘skip the messy bit.’

The man who once famously asked Nikita if it was cold, asked the nanny to move the original baby to another part of his mansion after only a couple of months.

He then ordered a replacement online, this time narrowing his search to ‘quiet/mute’ and ‘pliable’ children in the 18 to 24-36 months age group.

The whereabouts of the first child is now unknown, although rumours abound that a quick search of the singer’s seller account on Amazon would reveal all.

Meanwhile the Tiny Dancer himself hit back at critics today, arguing that there was ‘nothing wrong’ with buying a quieter, older child.

“All that baby stuff was getting on my tits,” raged the Rocketman. “So we decided to press ‘fast forward’. I fail to see what all the fuss is about. Everyone has the right to bring up their children how they see fit. In our case we decided to bin whatever-its-name-was and get one in that knows not to take a shit on my piano.”